Payback Time
by FFNewbie
Summary: Bella swan, the proud owner of the " sanctuary " bookshop and a broken heart plots her revenge towards Edward Cullen; the asshole who keeps hurting her , but Bella is a woman scorned and she's ready for war,she fights well,better summary inside : ..R&R
1. preface

** Bella swan, the proud owner of the " sanctuary " bookshop and a broken heart and Edward cullen the famous manwhore and the cause of bella's broken heart cross paths constantly to bella's desdain , bella hates edward but the cocky man cant help but feel drawn to the lovely swan ,as bella plots her revenge edward starts to have foreign feelings toward her, but bella is a woman scorned and she's ready for war..**

**Disclaimer : i wish twilight was mine :D , but sadly its not !**

Rain can teach us a lot, Look at your window when raindrops fall, look closely and see, see the drops falling alone at first but then mix with each other , if u keep watching you'll see some drops astray again , but the majority stay together .

As humans we reflect that view of raindrops , we are born as individuals , we grow up while creating a personality that keeps on changing until we find the one that suits us, we find friends and form groups , some we blend in with perfectly , yet some we lose, but in the end its the cycle o life , the people that stick together through everything are the ones worth our time, our love, and our tears, yet the drops that get lost should try to find their own way back , and if they are meant to , in time they will..


	2. Chapter 1

**This is the first chapter , enjoy reading….xx**

**Disclaimer : i wish twilight was mine :D , but sadly its not!**

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><p>Damn those birds! They won't shut up! Just one morning I'd like to wake up in peace, but those damn birds won't let me ,,i think they hate me.<br>"Shut up! We know its morning."

Yup I'm crazy, what's new! Anyway back to my story, my name is Bella Swan and I am shy ,, ya ya you're thinking that's not like a syndrome or actually a problem, but you only have to wait and see, for me it's a huge problem, I'm an average looking girl, brown hair, brown eyes, some might say I have a hot body since I'm naturally curvy but I wish they wouldn't, you see I'm not good with compliments, I would blush like crazy if someone looked at me just a little longer than normal so you can imagine how tomato like i would get if they complimented me!

Today just like everyday I'm going to wash up in my lovely shower, whip up a quick breakfast, sigh and look around my apartment and admire its beauty, I still can't believe how fortunate I was to get it in a good price and decorate all on my own, it's so homey, makes me never wanna leave, then I remember that I should stop doing that, next I get dressed in one of my mother's many famous friends clothes which I confess I've grown fond of, go down a couple of steps which is where my library is and enjoy helping people know more. I'm blessed with money, loving parents and this library that I was given by Mr. Weber my former employer in his will two years ago, who was also like a second father to me, and his daughter is my best friend. The library is big enough and quite lovely if i might say , all mahogany shelves and oak floors in dark brown which gives it an antiqy look, but that's just my opinion and I might be prejudiced, but I have worked here every day since I was sixteen, I left work while I went to college to get my degree in English Literature but whenever i visited home i would spend most of my time here, between these shelves and immersed In the smell of books.

Just like everyday I would look outside the front window from where I sit at the register and see a new girl coming out of the building across from the library trying to hold her clothes to her body after a night of what I can only imagine was wild animal sex, I saw this one go in last night with the oh so lovely gorgeous neighbour, the flavour of the day or night I should say, she looked like a plastic Barbie, blond, tall, barely there clothes, and extremely wasted that he had to half carry her inside. Oh well, I've been seeing the same scene everyday that I stopped blushing to thoughts of what might have been going on inside that apartment or what caused her clothes to get ripped like that, and so my day began...

A few minutes after twelve I heard the door chime tinkling so I looked up from my book to find my crazy pixie friend skipping to where I sat, I smiled at her enthusiasm like always, she's contagious.

"Bellaaa, guess what happened yesterday, Rosalie came home, and well we were out having dinner and we got talking about wanting a night out to unwind and so we decided to go out clubbing tonight, so please say yes pleasepleasepleaseplease we'll have so much fun, please!" Allie blurted without taking a breath.

"Calm down pixie !" I chuckled. "I can hardly understand you, and you know I can't go out! I have to work and i have stuff to do at home. But you go and have fun."

"Oh no u don't, you always play that card, but not this time, you're coming with us and that's final, we'll go late and you can afford to close the library a little early, plus u have nothing to do at home so don't lie, come on Bells I always let you do what u want, but you have to come this time for me!"

She gave me "the look" which she knew I couldn't resist or look away from, she could sense my wavering so the next thing I know she had that triumphant smile on her face and she squeals so loud I have to cover my ears.

"Wait wait wait, who's going?"

"Oh you know the usual and I will warn Emmet not to embarrass you and be on his best behaviour so don't worry, I'm so excited, I'll be here at 6:30 to help u get dressed, bye now." And she skipped away before i had a chance to say anything, I guess I'm going clubbing, yay me!  
>So on to my friends, let's see, starting with Angela Webber, my best-friend since childhood, she's Mr. Webber's daughter and has been like a sister to me through the years, she is the most caring person you could ever meet, small, dark skinned, wavy black hair, and used to be just as shy as me, but she fell in love with Ben, and now it's like she's cured! They make a beautiful couple, they literally complete each other, Ben is a little taller than Ange, with short black hair and a confidence that shined while being with Angela.<p>

Then we have the Cullens , first there is Alice Cullen, the pixie, with spiky black hair that she pulls of well, beautiful blue eyes and a tiny little form, and right next to her you would find the amazing Jasper Whitlock, the pride of Texas, a tall, sandy haired, well built man, with warm black eyes, Jasper is Alice's Valium, literally, he calms her down with his presence so she can be hyper but still be human, Jasper worships Alice ,then we have the big hulk Emmet Cullen, opposite to his little sister, he has a huge well built body, boisterous laugh, cute little dimples, and dark blond hair, and is engaged to the beautiful model like green-eyed Rosalie Hale, she is the personification of perfection, a walking jealousy magnet, but a strangely lovely person if not provoked.

Lastly, the manwhore Edward Cullen, the reason to all my insecurities, and the guilty party of my broken heart years ago. Edward Cullen, the gorgeous Adonis, with the perfect teeth, the perfect crooked grin, and the perfect chiseled jaw, the perfect voice, and the blackest heart of all mankind, oh and the guy i refuse to go out with the gang when around. The reason for that is that he broke my heart two years ago in the worst way imaginable i was so in love with him that I couldn't remember my own name when I heard his voice, his sensual velvety voice. The worst part is he never apologized, he was too much of a coward to apologize to my face. Oh and he's my across the street neighbor!

Like I said I'm a shy girl, I like to read, love my friends, hate attention, so two years ago I was cleaning the outside window of the library when the reason to my daydreams or any dreams pulled up in his car, he crossed the street took a newspaper and went inside to buy it, while I was frozen in my spot with my hand in the air mid-wipe and no clue what to do, but he was waiting inside so I had to snap out if it, I took a couple of breaths and moved slowly to the cash register inside hoping he won't say a word so I won't blush like crazy, and keeping my head down so I won't look at his gorgeous face and also blush like crazy, so when I reached the register I took the newspaper, rang it up and told him in the most audible voice I can manage the price.

"Bella, are you okay?"

And queue the blush! Which only deepened when I couldn't utter a single word so I just looked up without looking at his face, smiled a little which I'm sure came out as a grimace and nodded my head. Damn I hate my blush.

" Hey, am I that ugly that you can't even look at me?" He chuckled.

" NO! You're gorgeous." I blurted out quickly which intensified my blush, I closed my eyes and started praying for the floor to open up and swallow me right there.

"Bella, sweetheart look at me, I wanna ask you something."

And that was my death! Sweetheart! Really! Is he trying to make me melt. A couple of seconds passed until I had the courage to raise my head and look at him, and I was shocked at the tender look he had in his eyes, and the triumphant smile he wore.

"there are those beautiful eyes, hello lovely".

I don't think it was possible that I could have blushed more but I did.

"hi" i squeaked.

His smile grew more."Will u go out with me?"

And that is when my heart stopped beating and all the blood drained out of my face and i just turned around and ran into the storage room.

When I came out like I was hoping he was gone but on the counter was the  
>money for the newspaper and a note that said: "<em>I want an answer gorgeous, and I'll be back for i<em>t". Ya so you can imagine how nervous I was and how I hoped he won't talk to me again, it's easier this way I thought, he won't be interested in me, I can't even talk when I'm with him let alone go out on a date, at least two hours of trying to make a conversation? Ya I'll pass. And so for the rest of the week I tried to avoid him, but he was persistent, everyday he would come in, buy a newspaper, make me look at him and compliment me, and ask about that date, my answer to my great luck would always get interrupted by another customer but I think he understood I was turning him down, by the end of the week I was getting used to this routine that I stopped looking down when he came and started saying hello like a normal person, but the blush had no cure, on Friday, after buying the newspaper he asked me again.

" I-II no, I cant, I'm sorry, I have a thing."

"Bella I know you're lying, you can't lie for your life, I'm only asking for one date, won't you please let me take you out."

That voice again, it made me lose my inhibitions, after a couple of minutes of him trying to convince me I said yes, and he was strangely happy, like he really wanted to go on a date with me, and so he said he'd pick me up tomorrow at 7, and then left after giving me a small peck on the cheek and chuckling at me blush.

And so at seven the next day I was so nervous that I wanted to call and cancel , but I didn't have his number, and I think I actually wanted to get to know him, I wanted to spend time with him and so I just tried to calm my nerves and waited.

I kept on waiting till 8 and he was a no show, I got worried, maybe something happened to him, maybe he's hurt, I looked down from my window and saw his car across the street so I thought I might as well just go check on him, and so I went across the street, took the elevator to the second floor where his name was and knocked on the door, but there was no answer, so i waited a little then I heard a groan, I acted without thinking and opened the door, but to this day I wish I hadn't, there on the wall next to the door was Edward naked from the waist up, with his pants around his ankles and his boxers pulled down, thrusting into a strawberry blond who was without a stitch of clothing covering her body, and they were both moaning and groaning, all I could do was gasp which turned their attention to me, I was so shocked and hurt that I could only stare at my beautiful stranger and the _hand- caught-in- the –cookie-jar_ look he wore, something flashed in his eyes that looked close to guilt but then it quickly went away before I could interpret it , and a cocky smirk was plastered on his face.

"Hey" thrust " Bella" , what are u "thrust "doing here , wanna join?" and that's when the bitch laughed and agreed with him, and all the while they were still going at it, tears were streaming down my face and my vision was blurry but I managed to run away from the most humiliating scene of my existence and reach my home, get inside my bed to cry the rest of the night. So ya that was my changing point from an innocent girl to a hateful, distrustful woman.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**hope u enjoyed it ..tell me your thoughts**

**I will be posting the second chapter later on today , so bare with me people ..**

**Till next time ..FFN**


	3. Chapter 2

**hii guys ,this is the second chapter just like i promised =))**

**a huge thank you to my awsome beta MASTERSGURU ..xx**

**Disclaimer : i wish twilight was mine :D , but sadly its not !**

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><p>At four in the afternoon I was craving blueberry muffins, and only one place could make them the way i like, I closed the shop, put on my sunglasses and walked the couple of blocks to Sue's bakery, a little shop that always makes me feel happy. When I opened the door the smell of fresh baked goods assaulted me and I closed my eyes and inhaled, trying to savour it, then i had a strange feeling of someone watching me, but that wasn't new, it's been happening a lot for the past year, I mastered the art of pretending I don't see him, pretending he doesn't exist, but in truth, I feel his eyes on me everywhere i go, yet I'm no longer too shy to talk or a pathological blusher, I actually enjoy his sorrow now, I enjoy him watching the changed me, the more confident me, in the end he was the cause of that and I have to thank him one day for that, but till that day comes where I can take my revenge on that asshole, I'll keep my thoughts to myself and ignore his presence.<p>

" Bellaaaa, hello dear, I made these for you."

I smiled fondly, Mrs. Clearwater always made me miss my parents. "You spoil me Sue, those muffins could make a grown man cry with glee, hmmm."

"Oh nonsense child, you flatter me too much, come sit and eat while they're still hot."

"Before I eat, I have something for you, remember my friend, the one that works in the newspaper?" at her nod I continued "well he was working in the library last week and was looking for a? place to write a review about, and I kept talking about your bakery so he wanted to see for himself that's why I brought him with me and introduced you two, he was blown away, and so..." I reached into my bag and took out the newspaper which was already opened and put it in front of her reaction.

After a couple of minutes she started squealing and fanning her hands in front of her face.

"Oh my child, I can't believe it, oh my that's lovely, he wrote all that about my little bakery, oh I can't even, oh come here u rascal, give me a hug."

She hugged me so tight and pressed a small kiss on my cheek, she was relieved I guessing, the bakery did fine on its own, but the plump and endearing Mrs. Clearwater had children in college and needed more money, I watched her all the time when I was in the shop, so I could tell she needed money to send for her children, but she's a proud woman and would never ask, so when Jake came to the library last week i took the opportunity to try to convince him to write a review about the bakery, and Jake saw how fond I was of it that he wanted to go and see what all the fuss was about, and he was speechless, now after the review I would only hope for customers to be lining in to try those heavenly bites.

After about fifteen minutes I had to go back to the library, so I kissed her goodbye, wished her a good day and turned to leave, as I did so I caught a small smile playing on the face of my stalker, but as always I ignored him and went in my way.

I closed the library early today and went upstairs to take a shower and wait for Alice to come do her magic, went to the TV room and lounged on the coach, the mail on my coffee table caught my eye and I reached for it, one letter I recognised, I stopped counting them now, they were all identical, all with a single five letter word that means nothing to me anymore, and all from the same sender, all just like this one said "sorry", so I put it in the pile of sorry notes that i kept, and made a note to return them all in the near future, but i would keep them for now, they might be of use later on.

After the torture of getting dressed I left with Alice to meet up with the guys, they were already waiting for us when we got there, the club wasn't packed yet so we were able to find a table easily, and then Emmet pounced with a gleam in his eyes.?

"My darling, sweet, not so innocent Bella, I'm bored, and I need some kind of entertainment, and we both know your it, get ready kitten."

'Game on Emmet' I thought, I put on my innocent face, looked down at my hands for a couple of seconds so I would look nervous and then looked up at Emmet.

"B-but Emmet , I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you with what I did, I was just making a new friend, you know its hard for me, but it's OK I can take it..I think." I said in a small voice , and waited for his guilt to eat at him. Jasper hid his face in Alice's and I could see his shoulders shaking, Alice was pretending to use her phone with a smirk playing her lips, and Rosalie was trying to hold in her laughter but having a hard time doing it so she winked at me and turned her face to the other side so Emmet won't see.

You see last week we were out to this new club, and as always they were all coupled up and I was alone , that doesn't bother me much these days but I was a little bored so when i spotted the guy that does my hair in the saloon 'Sam' I waved him over and we chatted a little, then I looked up and Emmet was giving me kissy faces and laughing his ass off, so an idea popped in my head, I told Sam that I have a friend he might be interested in, but that friend is shy and still trying to be straight because he thought no one would accept him if he came out as gay so he's trying to convince himself he's not, I convinced Sam that if he made a move on Emmet and gave him a kiss he would have the push he needed.?

A couple of minutes later I went with Sam to our table and introduced him, then I sent rose a text and told her to trust and me excuse herself to the ladies room and watch what's gonna happen from afar, and so as soon as she went Sam started getting closer to Emmet until he was practically sitting in his lap, then he started caressing his arm, Emmet looked so uncomfortable that I had to look away before I bursted out laughing, then I looked back just as Sam planted his mouth to Emmet's, he jumped up from his place so high and started yelling at Sam 'what the hell are u doing man, I'm straight, get away from me.'

But Sam kept trying to convince him that it's okay, that he can help him, after a couple of tries he took out his card and he put it in Emmet's back pocket while squeezing his pants and telling him to call him if he changed his mind, at that point Rosalie came out of hiding and we were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down our faces, and Emmet shuddered and looked around the table suddenly, he started to lunge for me but out of nowhere the stalker was behind him and holding him back, so ya Emmitt wasn't so happy that night and I ran out of the club before anything else could happen and went home.

"Oh kitten don't cry, it's okay I forgive you, I understand please don't cry , I'm sorry."

And I started shaking my shoulders though from laughter not from tears , and Rose held me as I started shaking and told Emmet to go get us some drinks and just give me a minute to calm down, he reluctantly went and just as he reached the bar we all blew up in laughter, but he caught us laughing and started chuckling and shaking his head.

An hour or so later we were just sitting around the table and laughing about Emmet's jokes when i felt like dancing, I got up and started swaying to the music, I closed my eyes and just let everything go, a couple of minutes later i felt hands on my waist and a body come up behind me, but I didn't care who it was for I was enjoying myself so I let the guy have his fun, I felt his breath on my neck and his hands on my body and I just let him guide me, we kept swinging and he kept moving me like we were one, I extended my hands behind me and started combing them through his hair, it felt so soft and smooth, we groaned simultaneously and started grinding harder into each other, it was so raw and needy, so sensual and intimate, then he started kissing and licking my neck, and it felt so good I was screaming in my head for him not to stop.

suddenly we were wrenched apart, I opened my eyes and saw jasper with the deadliest look I have only ever seen given to one person and hatred pouring out of him and i just thanked God he was there to stop me when he did, I gave him a grateful look that he returned with a nod, I kissed his cheek and went back to our table to get my things and call it a night, I didn't even turn my head to look at who I was dancing with, because I knew it was my stalker, it was Edward.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**did u enjoy it ?..tell me your thoughts ,,:D **

**reviews let me write faster ...**

**till next time xx**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter threeeeeee..=))**

**A big thank you to my awsome beta MASTERSGURU ,,xx**

**Disclaimer : i wish twilight was mine :D , but sadly its not !**

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><p>While Alice drove me home I drifted off remembering everyone's reaction to what happened two years ago, I had only met Alice two weeks before that night, to anyone else it would seem embarrassing, but to Alice Cullen it was the reason she became my friend.<p>

The day I met Alice was just like any other day, I was checking up on the last book shipment when the door tinkled, I raised my head a couple of seconds later to find a girl and a guy walking inside to the far end of the library, so I just gave the girl a little smile and went back to finish what I was doing, about fifteen minutes later I started hearing a strange noise, like someone was being hurt, I got up from my seat slowly, grabbed the stick I use for the high shelves and started walking to where the sound was, as I got closer the sound got louder and my heart beats got quicker, then when I was about to round the last corner I aimed the stick and turned, and started screaming, to my unbelievable shock it was the couple who walked in a while ago, they guy was grouping the girl with her shirt half open , and the girl had her legs around the guys waist, and they were making out like there's no tomorrow.

I covered my eyes as fast as i could but it was too late, the image was printed in my memory, and i could feel all the blood rush into my face, I started screaming for them to stop and get out, and just turned around and went back to the cash counter, but my screams must have been too loud since just when I reached the counter Edward Cullen came barging in and ran towards me and started frantically asking me what was wrong, but I was too shocked to talk, and didn't register that he was holding my face in his hands, and was trying to stop my body from shaking, a couple of seconds later, the couple came out looking disheveled and chagrined, and when the girl saw Edward she started blushing, at that moment he let go of me and started cursing at them, 'Really Alice? The library? Fuck Jasper you should know better than to listen to him! What's wrong with you!' Then he turned to me and his eyes softened he said he was sorry for them and dragged them out of the library, but before they left, the girl came back, stuck out her hand to me and said she was Alice Cullen and that she was happy to meet me, and that we were going to be great friends, I shook her hand while still in a daze, and watched them leave, it was a while after that when what she said came back to me , 'that was Edward's sister!'

And so since that day Alice started visiting everyday and we became friends, at first she came alone and kept apologizing, but then her boyfriend who I came to know was Jasper started coming with her, and in time I started warming up to him and I blushed less when he talked to me, and that is how I met them.

The night of my date with the asshole , Alice came early and helped me get ready, she was excited that I had a date with her brother, little did she know i would run home in tears and a broken heart, that night she kept calling and I just didn't have the heart to pick up, hours passed and then I heard sounds coming from my living room, I looked up when I heard my bedroom door open, and I saw Alice's head pop up, she had Jasper with her, and a couple I didn't know, at that moment i didn't care that I didn't know them that much, I just started sobbing, Alice rushed to me and held me while I started telling her what happened, when I was done she was so furious that she was shaking and I could see her eyes glistening with tears, she got up and hurried out of the apartment, Jasper took her place and held me tight while I cried for my stupidity, for my naivety and for the cruelty of Edward Cullen, and then I don't remember much, but that was the night I became a part of the Cullen family , they stayed with me the rest of the weekend, and I got to know Emmet and Rosalie who were the other couple, they all tried to make me feel better.

Alice looked miserable and kept apologizing over and over till i told her if she said she was sorry one more time I'm going to stop talking to her, and Emmet left at lunch the next day and came back with a bright smile a couple of hours later, and that smile was because he went to find Edward and he beat the crap out if him, and that alone made me smile and love Emmet even before I knew him , and Rosalie kept saying bad things about Edward which really helped, and so that was when I started having brothers, and two sisters , and all were so protective of me that I sometimes thank Edward for what he did, because he led me to a family when mine was miles and miles away.

I got back to the present when we reached my street, Alice asked me if I was okay , and promised to give me a call in the morning.

When I finished my bed time routine I switched the lights off and looked outside my window, at that moment Edward arrived in his car, he switched the engine off, and got out while trying to hold his balance. Then suddenly he looked up at my window and just stared. I knew he couldn't see me so i just looked on, I couldn't see the emotions playing on his face clearly but it looked like grief and longing were the winning ones, then he got a determined look in his eyes, he stood up straight and started walking to my direction, and I just waited, a couple of minutes later I heard banging on my door, I chose to ignore it but went to sit by the door nonetheless..

"Bella? Bella open the door, Bella come out and talk to me, please talk to me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I fucked everything up, please talk to me, just talk to me, please Bella, or look at me, i need you to at least look at me.. BELLA PLEASE!"

To think I waited 2 years for that confession, and it meant nothing right now because he was drunk out if his mind, was he really that much of a coward? He couldn't talk to me when he's sober but he can when he's messed up! That jackass! If he was sober when he said all these things at least I would feel sorry for him, but this just feuled my anger.

I went and picked up the phone and called Emmet and told him what was going on, ten minutes later he was at my door and dragging a still screaming Edward to his apartment 'No i need to talk to her, let me go , I'm sorry BELLA,' and so he kept on screaming until Emmet got him home and all I could hear was the silence of the night.

The next morning I woke up a determined woman, after going down to the library and opening the shop, I just sat behind the counter and started plotting, at noon when Alice came by I had almost the whole plan made out, she took one look at me and squealed, she knew what was on my mind, next she called rosalie and told her to call Emmet, and then she called Jasper, half an hour later an ecstatic fist pumping Emmet showed up with an excited grinning Rosalie , a dressed in black Jasper with a gleam in his eyes and a black dress on his hand for alice, and a very pregnant Angela with a mischievous Ben all arrived at the library and all the while I had a shit eating grin on my face because after all it was time, time for what you ask?

Its payback time!

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Did u enjoy it ?..are you as excited as i am for the PAYBACk?**

**Let me hear your thoughts,reviews reviews...**

**next chapter will be posted tomorrow guys ..**

**till next time xx**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Now its time for bella to start her payback ,,*evil grin***

**Thank you to the reviews, **

**love you My beta MastersGuru,,=)))**

**Disclaimer : i wish twilight was mine , but oh well at least this is :))**

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><p>The next day I was running a little late for my hair appointment because me car wasn't starting so I had to lock up the shop in a hurry and also run a couple of blocks because I couldn't find a taxi anywhere, when I was just about to reach the last block I was sweating like bullets and couldn't really breathe so I just stood there on the side walk for a couple of seconds to try and catch my breath. When I looked up I saw Edward stepping out of his car and running my way looking frantic and worried, I had my sunglasses on so he didn't see the moment an idea sprung up in my head and the devil within me was laughing her evil laugh.<p>

When Edward reached me, my plan was in motion, I started sniffling and crying softly and slid down the wall while trying to wipe my nose, my eyes and my face, I pretended I didn't see him yet and continued to sob quietly, but in my periphery I could see his hands reaching out toward me hesitantly and then going back to his side, a couple of minutes later I've had enough, I lifted my sunglasses off my face after I made sure that my eyes were puffy enough, and wiped the rest of my face, I knew I looked broken and vulnerable and that just added to the sweetness of my plan, when I opened my eyes I saw him crouched down in front of me and looking at me with concern, I gasped just enough to look startled and tried to back away from him as if he scared me.

"Wait, it's ok sweet-heart, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you, calm down."

"Why won't you l-leave me alone, w-why do you hate me so much, haven't you done enough? J-just go away."

"Bella sweetheart tell me what's wrong."

"Don't call me that!" I snapped while sniffling.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but please tell me why are you crying, did someone hurt you?"

"No, I deserve it it's okay, I should stop trying, I-I know I'm not cute like all the other girls, I know none of the guys like me b-but I just thought that this guy might be d-different, I-I wanted someone to love me, s-someone to hold me, but I know that I s-shouldn't try anymore, even you who I never thought could hurt me broke my heart and laughed at me, I should have listened to wh-hat you were trying to say when you acted that way, and it's taking m-me this long but I know now, I give up, m-my mother can adopt grandchildren if she wants, but this is just so hard, I can't do it anymore, I-II I just can't, I should have listened to you a long time ag-g-o-o"

I watched as his face crumbled in pain and guilt and did a mental happy dance, the plan was working perfectly, without giving him time to respond I just sprung up on my feet and went running on my way, but I could still hear him calling after me, which made me run faster, eventually his voice faded and I had reached the saloon so I just went in with a big smile on my face, and told Alice who I was supposed to meet at the saloon what happened, she said I made her day, and I won't lie, it made my day as well, it felt good to make him feel just a very small amount of the pain he caused me, but the best is yet to come.

I called Jake when I got back to the shop and thanked him for the review , and promised to take him out to dinner sometime the next week ,he was strangely manly for a gay dude , and I would have been so in love with him if he wasn't interested in the other team , or the same team I should say , he was so loving and caring that sometimes I wondered if I had a brother if he would be the same as Jake ,but why wonder when u have the real deal ,I wished he would end up with someone just as great as he is.

Later that night I invited the guys over for dinner to celebrate our small victory, Jake couldn't come because he had a date , and Angela wasn't feeling well so Ben stayed to take care of her . I was making the salad when someone knocked on the door, a couple of minutes later I heard arguing, I put down the knife and walked slowly to the door, when I was close enough I heard Emmet and Jasper arguing with someone, well I must be lucky, or I must have put on a lovely show, because it was Edward Cullen in the flesh, and he was actually sober and standing at my door, I guess miracles happen when you cry hard enough and lose hope, I tried to eavesdrop from where I stood.

"Edward man we can't do that, we won't let you see her or talk to her dude! She's barely sanding on her own two feet after what you did to her, I will kick your ass if you hurt her again in any way, I love you man but she's too important for all of us, just go."

"Fuck off jasper, get out of my way before I fucking punch you, she can talk for herself, she's not a baby, and she isn't as innocent as you all think, what did she think would happen huh? That I would fall in love with her and live happily ever after, I'm not that stupid and she wasn't that special, and we all know that, so both of you get the fuck out of my face and let me talk to her."

And that is when I heard the sound of a crunch and knew jasper had reached his limit and I knew he was hitting Edward with all his might, he has wanted to do that since the date night, but Emmet had beat him to it so now it was his time to have fun, I could just feel Rosalie squirming in her seat, she's wanted to punch the ass since she'd met him.

What he said did hurt a little, but he's right, I wasn't that special, or didn't think I was, but now I know my worth, I am more confident, and more in control of my body and my mind, and it's time Edward knew that, I marched to the door with purpose, Jasper held him back and Emmet put his hand forward as if to tell me to go on, I stood in front of Edward until we were nose to nose and stared into his eyes for a couple of seconds then slapped him with the force of two years of pent up hate.

"I've been waiting forever to hit you, you fucking ass, don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't even think of me, you had your chance two years ago and you threw it away and treated me like fucking trash, I can't believe I was actually in love with you at the time, don't worry though because now I hate you like I've never hated anything in my life, but thank you for making me wake up and see you like you really are, a pathetic sex driven manwhore who only cares about his dick!" I turned and took a step back to the apartment then turned back around pulled my hand back and punched him square in the face.

"And I am more than special."

And with that I left him standing there stunned and with a broken nose and walked back inside to the cheers of my whole family.

Alice and Emmet where mad at Edward for a few weeks after the _'DATE NIGHT'_, they wouldn't talk to him , they would walk by him in the street and wont acknowledge his existence , Emmet would nod at him but that was all, and I started feeling guilty for that , I wasn't one to break up a family and they used to be so close , so I convinced them to go talk to him , and to forgive him because even thought he hurt me , he was still their brother , and he would never do anything to hurt them , and he was alone , at least I had all of them around me , but now he had no one , I told them that I could share them with him , but they should go make peace , and from that time we agreed that they would have their brother back and try to forgive him and I would have my family as well, but we won't mention him ever again , we steered clear of the mentioning of his name or what he's doing or anything connected to him , and the night they made their peace with him was the night his stalking began , I guess he knew they wouldn't have talked to him if it weren't for me, and even then he didn't have the guts to come apologize to me like a man .

I took a couple of minutes to call my parents ,my mother Renée is remarried now to a good man named Phil Dwyer , it was hard to hate him even a little , he really loves her and is taking such good care of her ,he indulges her like my father couldn't , and she is happy with him which makes me happy that she found someone she loves so much and who worships the ground she walks on ,my dad Charlie is the recluse , I guess I got my shyness from him , he loved my mother but couldn't make her love him back , so when she decided to leave he let her , they got a divorce when I turned sixteen , I feel sorry for my dad , because unlike mom he didn't get his happy ending ,but I'm still hoping he will, he just needs to find the right woman ,they were both doing okay so I just kept them up to date with my life and wished them a good night and went back to my guests .

For the rest of the night we forgot about Edward and just enjoyed each other's company. We played games, we sang on the karaoke machine Jasper and Emmet had a competition on who would sing killing me softly best , they even let us put make up on them so they can go into character , they didn't know it but I had the whole thing recorded , they looked so ridiculous that we couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole act , in the end Jasper won because Emmet got choked up in the last verse and started laughing so hard he couldn't breath let alone sing ,after they washed their faces and got cleaned up we watched a movie , I knew they did that act to try and cheer me up , and it worked , it was a good feeling to have people who have your back no matter what.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Share your thoughts readers,,what about that punch ?**

**i reply to all the reviews ;)**

**Thank you for reading, **

**Until next time.. **

**FFN **

**xx**


	6. Chapter 5

**Thank u all for making this story a favorite,,**

**Disclaimer : only this is mine !**

**without further ado , here you go ...**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

Wasn't stacking books that just arrived supposed to be boring ? Can u believe it was the only exciting thing that happened all morning! Even Alice didn't show up like she usually did , she was held up in a meeting , but the at two Angela stopped by and looked as radiant as ever , I've never seen a more happy pregnant woman , she brought with her a couple of baby clothes that she just bought , cute little Nike shoes and a small hat , both won't fit the baby until months ahead but if u saw them you would know why she couldn't resist to buy them , they were just irresistible not to buy.

When she left she forgot to take the small shoes with her , i held them for a while and just lost track of time while staring at them and thinking , will i ever have a baby and buy shoes like these for ? I guess a little part of me stopped believing in love a long time ago , but i always wanted to have kids , a cute boy who calls me mommy and gives me little hugs that would make me forget the sorrows of the world and the sound of his little patters as he ran around in the house would always make me smile fondly , or a little princes who's twinkling laugh would fill the house and who's loving kisses would warm my heart and fill me with joy , but did I lose that dream as well , did I stop believing in it ? I honestly couldn't answer myself as hard as I tried, but I hoped I didn't...

I was so lost in the land of dreams that I didn't hear the door chime tinkling , i felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see non other than Edward standing in front of me sporting a broken nose , which made my bandaged hand hurt less ,and looking at me With pity in his eyes , i felt my eyes harden and my emotions turn to anger , i brushed my cheek And felt wetness there , i wiped it away quickly hoping he didn't see it but from the looks of it he did ,and turned back to the intruder who must have sensed the shift in my mood because he stood up straighter and wiped that look of pity from his face .

" what the hell do you want _Cullen_, one broken nose wasn't enough for you ? , and how long have u been standing there". I snapped

He held up his hands in front of him as if in surrender.

"Calm down _Swan_, I came to talk , please just hear me out , give me five minutes And I'll be out of your hair before u even have time to think about it ." he answered ignoring my second question .

"U know what I don't care anymore, just say whatever u came to say and leave me be, go on I'm listening " I said and looked at my watch.

" ok , listen I wanted to apologize for being a jerk , I didn't mean to hurt you but come on, did you really believe I would to go out with you ? You used to be all nerdy and like a frightened kitten, and I swear it totally slipped my mind that we were going out, and I couldn't turn down a good fuck, I mean you can understand that cant you? so can you please just forgive me and let's put this behind us and move on so I can ask you out again " he said with a smirk then looked me up and down "and this time believe me I'll remember ." he chuckled

At that moment I could have killed him, I have never in my life hated someone as much as I hated Edward Cullen after the most insulting apology that's ever been uttered , the audacity of the guy! Did he really believe that what he just said was in any way an apology? Did he not hear how insulting and degrading that speech was! Arrgghh! I could kick his ass right now, but this was actually good for the plan, this would give me more ammo for later, so I just plastered a smile on my face and looked up at the ass.

"Thank you for that apology; belated as it may be, yeah I don't know what I was thinking when I believed someone like you would go out with someone like me."It was meant as an insult but he took it as a compliment and smiled, that stupid ass jerk!"that's why I will never think about going out with you again so don't worry about me anymore, u can have all the good 'fucks ' that u want, just won't be me , now please leave ,your time is up"

" no no its okay , u can go out with me now , now your sexy as hell so its okay, I want to take you out , so when can I pick you up?"

My patience was reaching the end of its rope , this really just made me think even more less of him, has he really always been this cocky ?, well I will make him lose his cockiness , and I will make him beg , just you wait. I took a couple of breaths to calm me down , I knew my face looked red and ready to explode , but I had to stick t o the plan .

" you're really sweet you know that, thank you for making me feel wanted, how about I meet up with you tomorrow for lunch at that cute little pizza place that's across town ? Its far but it has the most amazing pizza so it's worth it, and we'll get to know each other then okay?" I gave him the most excited smile that I could muster up.

"yeah I've heard of that place, it's about time I tried it , I didn't get a chance before because I never dated , I always met the girls in one of the clubs and one of them would relieve my stress , and that girl gets to go home with me so she can do it again later, but anyway I will change those rules for you my sexy Bella , so I'll meet u there, I have to run now But I'll meet you tomorrow ."

He walked the couple of steps out of the shop, when he reached his car I called his name to make him stop .  
>" oh wait , I might be a little late because I have a shipment coming in but u can order for me whatever you want , see u tomorrow sweet cheeks." I said then slapped the library door in his face and went inside.<p>

The next day at lunch time Alice came by and we went out to Sue's bakery to check up on her , and I couldn't believe my eyes when we reached there, the line to the shop was as long the street that the shop stood on! I looked at Alice and we just started running and went inside through the throngs of people till we reached Sue, who from the looks of it hadn't had a moment of peace or rest for a long time.

"Hello darlings, how are you this evening? "

"Oh sue u look exhausted! U can't handle all this yourself, you have to hire someone to help you honey" I tried to reason with her while dragging her to the nearest chair to sit.

" Oh I did child, I hired a lovely couple, they both needed work and came to ask for one , and I hired them at the spot, but they started today and I had to teach them everything ."

"Well u just sit here and we'll manage the counter for a while , u can go up and take a nap sue , don't worry we'll handle things here." Alice suggested.

And so for the rest of the afternoon we helped in sues bakery, i guess that review did what it was intended to, the new couple Garrett and Kate where charming , funny , happy and in love. they had just graduated college but couldn't find a job anywhere so when they read about the bakery they thought Sue could use the help and decided to give it a shot , and I'm glad they did ,because with them working there I won't have to worry about sue so much anymore ,we closed the shop at eight and spent another couple of hours cleaning and doing inventory, when we were done , jenny made us dinner , which was amazing, I think I might ask her to do it every night , and then we each went our separate way .

I reached home at ten thirty and was exhausted beyond words, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep till morning, but I knew I had to deal with one more person, and what do you know! sitting on my doorsteps was none other than Edward Cullen looking furious.

"Where the fuck where you?"

"I was working why?"

"Because we had a fucking date, that's why! You left me waiting there for TWO HOURS and didn't even have the decency to call! "

"Oh Edward I totally forgot we had a date, I apologize, u have to believe me, would I pass up a chance to go on a date with_ someone like you_? " I said with as much venom as I could muster at the end , I saw recognition dawn on him as I threw back his own words at him.

"did the amazing Edward like getting stood up? How does it feel? Huh? "

I gave him a couple of seconds to digest what I just said.

"Just like they say asshole payback's a bitch"

And then i turned around and went inside the house and shut the door in his face yet again, and slept like a baby with a big smile on my face, and a promise to Edward that when I'm done with him , he will be begging me for forgiveness.

The next morning Jake came by as usual to do his work while sitting on one of the tables in the library ,and as he worked I kept coming and going to talk as I did my job and helped other customers , when it was noon I had filled him in with everything that has happened with Edward and he was laughing his ass off by the end of my story . we had our heads close together and we were murmuring so we won't bother the other people reading or working when Jacob looked up and stiffened then he looked back down at me and smirked telling me to just go with what he was going to do, he leaned in close till we had our noses touching, looked into my eyes and kissed me, it was just a friendly peck but I could hear the sharp intake of breath that sounded near where we were standing , then came his voice.

"Who the fuck is this? You stand me up yesterday and then I see you sucking face with this asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Suddenly Jacob stood up and punched Cullen in the stomach so fast that neither of us saw it coming, when the ass was doubled over , Jake caught him by his collar and raised his head , then stroked down his face and said in his calmest voice :" talk to her like that again and I'm going to have to mess up that pretty face of yours, understood?" At his nod Jake turned and took his things and left , but not before giving me a wink , looking at Edwards ass and mouthing ' HOT ', I gave him a nod because he _was_ hot ,but his assholeness was much stronger than his hotness, little did Cullen know that what he just said triggered stage two of the plan,,,,

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><p><strong>AN :**

**tell me your thoughts , anyone feeling sorry for edward ? any ideas u want to share ?all is welcome ...**

**thank you for reading ..**

**till next time **

**FFN **

**xx**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hello lovely readers...**

**I forgot to thank my beta MastersGuru and congratulate her on the new job last time ..=))! **

**Disclaimer :Burrowed characters, original story line****!**

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

The next day i was sitting in the bakery when Edward walked in with a new girl hanging on his arm, I looked up at his face and saw him watching my reaction, i gave him a condescending Smile and a little wave with my fingers, he looked disappointed with that, it was funny he was trying to make me jealous, man he thought he was actually jealous worthy? Or didn't he know that I'm used to that scene by now, maybe with less clothing on the girl though.

I tuned them out and went back to my work, I was writing a couple of children stories to give as a present to Angela when she has the baby, I was excited about it an knew she'd love the surprise, I promised when we were twelve years old I would do it, so I'm guessing she forgot which makes it even more exciting. I was currently on the second one , it was about a friendly dog who finds a girl's lost doll and gives it back to her and they become best friends ever since.

ever since I started writing this story I've been thinking about getting a little puppy ,and today was the day ,so when I left the bakery I called Jake and told him to come with me to help me pick one out , he said he'd meet me there and an hour later I was the proud owner of a Yellow Lab puppy , I decided to call him doggy till I figured out a permanent name for him, he was so cute and small I could put him in my pocket and take him everywhere , but I wont because that's crazy , Jake came home with me so he can help me set up for my new baby after making me promise I'd cook for him .

A couple of hours later Doggy was resting in his small bed after taking a bath and making a whole lot of mess , and having dinner . It was finally time for us to eat , I fixed something up for us , and made a quick salad while Jake setup the table , while we were having dinner Jake was telling me about his date fiasco , apparently the guy was high or something and whenever he heard a little noise louder than normal he would freeze , raise his hands in the air and scream ' I surrender ' at the top if his lungs , it got so bad at the end that Jake had to take him to the ER to see what's wrong with him and leave him there and run away as far as he could .

I couldn't stop laughing at his date , i kept trying to picture that guy yelling _I surrender _and Jake's face filled with shock and embarrassment , it must have been priceless , Jake had to leave right after dinner so I walked him to his car gave him a hug goodnight and went back upstairs.

Not five minutes after that I heard a knock on the door, I opened it with a smile that quickly vanished when I realized it wasn't Jake at the door, it was Edward!

"Cant you leave me alone for one night!" I said with a groan.

"Man I thought that boy toy was never leaving! And No I enjoy your snarky attitude too much" he retorted while trying to sidestep me and go inside the apartment, but I held the door firmly in my hand and wouldn't budge.

"Listen I don't have time for this right now , and I'm too tired , why don't you come back tomorrow Okay?" I tried to push him away and close the door, but he was pretty strong, I don't think he even felt my push.

"Well you owe me a date and I know you where trying to teach me a lesson and it worked, so now will you actually go out with me?"

"I don't owe you anything , fuck off"

"Oh ya I love it when u talk dirty to me , gimme more " he retorted and I had to crack a smile at that but quickly wiped it off my face before he could see it.

I thought there was only one way to get rid of him so i got so close to him that his sent engulfed me and whispered in a breathy voice: " oh baby , do you like it when I'm being a dirty girl ? Hmmm? "Then I sucked his earlobe into my mouth and heard him groan a _' fuck_ ' and backed up a little.

"Tell me baby tell me how you like it when I do this? " I said while kissing under his ear.

Then Suddenly I was turned around and my back pushed up against the wall, and he was kissing down my neck and licking and nibbling everywhere.

"Yes finally, I've been waiting forever to fuck you, fuck you taste good."

I lost my self in the sensation and enjoyed it for a couple of seconds but when he was close to reaching my mouth I got back to my senses and slipped from under him and got inside the apartment and locked the door before he could register what I was doing , then I went straight to bed hid under the covers And tried to calm down and forget what just happened, thank god I was tired because once I closed my eyes I was fast asleep.

I woke up sweating and breathing hard, damn I thought those dreams stopped a long time ago! But he had to go and kiss me like that! What the hell was he thinking, did he really think I would let him 'fuck me', did he really think i was that easy? I might have to make him think again next time!

I took doggy downstairs with me and to the library , he was so small and fragile that i couldn't just leave him alone , I looked out the window from the cash register and saw Edward put yet another one of his groupies in a cab home, but unlike all the other times today I felt a squeeze in my heart that I haven't felt in a long time , this is getting too close to home I have to finish this before I end up getting hurt again, so I made sure he saw me looking at him and gave him thumbs up on the girl and a sarcastic smile , I guess he hasn't changed much .

I called the guys and told them about stage two , Jake who was the lead in the plan was more than happy to play , Rosalie was so excited that she said she will name her first born child 'Bella' , Alice wanted to buy the perfect costume ,and so stage two was in motion.

later that evening I took doggy for a walk in the park, when we sat down on a blanket I brought he started jumping in his spot but he was too young to actually reach anywhere, he kept trying to run after the little kids playing , and when he couldn't keep up with them he would stand in his place and bark at them ,it was more like a cough but he looked so adorable that I had to give him a treat every time he came back wiggling his tail and burying his face behind my neck after I held my arms open for him ,that dog had potential I thought while laughing when he licked my face with his tiny tongue .

a while later, doggy was tired so he tucked his tiny body next to my tummy and just sat watching people while I read my book, just then I could feel a presence behind me, I sat up straight and heard doggy whine in his spot but he didn't move, then someone was sitting next to me, I looked up at that person and then threw myself at him.

"Daddyyyyy " I squealed hugging him hard

"Whoa there bells, give your old man some room to breathe," Charlie chuckled

"Oh you love it, don't even pretend" I said while giving him the stink eye and sitting back down.

"How are you kid, you look good, and who's this little guy?"He said softly while stroking doggy's head.

"I'm great actually, and this is Doggy, he's my new baby, when did u get here?"

"I just drove in and came by to see you, I thought I'd take my chances and look for you here when I didn't find you home."

"Well you thought well, come on let's get you settled down, how long are you staying?"

"Just a couple of days sweetie, a quick visit to make sure everything is going alright with my baby"

"Great, I hope you're not too tired because I want you to taste the best baked goods of all times, the one I told you about? Lets goo, come on hurry, I want to catch Sue before she closes"

When we Reached Sue's Charlie stalled a little and admired the place before coming in , when he did Sue was talking to me and stopped mid sentence , at her pause I looked up to see what made her pause just in time to see Charlie walk in and stop in his tracks when his eyes made contact with Sue's already wide open one's . then I looked back at sue and saw a cute blush on her cheeks , then it clicked , and I smiled so wide I thought my brain might get hurt and made introductions ,

"daddy this is the lovely woman I've been telling you about , Sue Clearwater , and Sue this is my dad , Charlie swan."

Charlie approached Sure carefully and held her outstretched hand like something fragile and might break at any second, he raised her hand and gave it a small peck .

"hello lovely Sue , I've been hearing a lot about you , you're even more beautiful in person, it's a pleasure "

Sue's face turned crimson " thank you , I'm delighted to meet you Charlie , I've heard a lot about you as well, Bella always talk about her loving father and how well you take care of her , come in " and scurried away to the kitchen , o looked back at Charlie who had a dazed look in his eyes and was still staring at the spot which Sue was standing at .I dragged a reluctant Charlie to one of the tables and excused myself to go check on doggy outside , when I came back a while later , I found them with their heads close together and murmuring softly to each other , I've never seen Sue blush so much , so I just left them there in their bubble , took doggy and went home , it was finally time for daddy's happy ending …

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><p><strong>AN:**

**We're getting close to the ultimate paybake ,, still with me people ?**

**Reviews are welcome like always ;)**

**Till next time **

**FFN **

**xx**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello devoted readers , **

**my beta is a little busy so forgive any mistakes you find =))**

**Disclaimer : borrowed characters , original plot!**

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

You know when you wake up with an excruciating headache , u can't move because any movement would trigger another wave of pain, u can't talk because even the little vibrations of your voice would hurt, so u just lay down on your bed after taking a couple of painkillers and wait it out , and that is why at one in the afternoon on Sunday I found myself lounging on the couch in the dark living room , while my dad was getting ready to go out , he thinks I don't know he's going to see Sue but I heard him on the phone earlier and he said he will be at the bakery at one thirty , so ya he can pretend and I don't have the energy to call him on it right now , he asked me if I needed anything before he left , kissed my forehead and felt if i had a fever and then left saying he'll be back in a couple of hours.

I dozed off and when I woke up it was ten past eight, the headache was back in full force and I was hungry! I tried to get up but I must have tried too hard because the pain just increased more and I groaned and fell back down, just then I heard the door open and someone run inside and open the lights .after my yell to close the lights and the double pain that followed I stopped talking but did tell whomever it was to kill me quickly so I won't feel any more pain, then I heard his chuckle and knew it was Edward so I groaned again.

" noo please not today , I don't have the strength just leave me alone , I have a mind numbing headache and I cant even move without my head throbbing more and I'm hungry so don't mess with me !"I whispered

He stared at me for a couple of seconds and then came closer.

"I thought someone was hurting you! And I'm not leaving you like this, so just save your energy and be quiet, let's call a truce for tonight, just let me help you " he whispered back while Stroking my face a putting my hair behind my ears, it felt good so I just kept my silence and enjoyed his soothing touch, after a couple of seconds I felt lips on my cheek and I almost melted.

"I'm going to fix you something to eat, if you need anything just groan or something okay sweetheart? " he whispered in that velvet voice again and that voice! And I just mumbled incoherently but he must have taken it as my consent because he left to the kitchen then and I dozed off again.

I felt feather like touches on my shoulder and someone calling my name , the voice got closer until my name was being whispered right next to my ear , and then I was fully awake and remembered that Edward was here and he was trying to wake me up so I can eat, when I opened my eyes And looked up at his face he was smiling tenderly at me , which made me blush and look around for a distraction, i find a couple of candles lit around the living room , just enough light to make a little glow but not enough to hurt my head , if I wasn't feeling so bad I would have thought it was romantic, but sadly it wasn't meant to be.

" I made you some pasta , so you can chew easily without hurting your head , and I made you this herbal tea that my mom used to make me when I was young and would have a headache " he whispered sweetly while handing me a tray of food , I was so touched that I couldn't hold the tears in , he was being too sweet , and I wasn't used to this Edward , I just started crying and he took the tray from my hands and took me in his arms .

" what's wrong honey , why are you crying , is the pain too much , it's okay calm down ,it's okay " he cooed while stroking my hair and holding my face to his chest .

I calmed down after a while and sat up straight and gave him a small smile while he wiped the tears from my face , then he wedged another cushion behind me to get me settled and put the tray back on my lap , he drank tea and played with his telephone as I ate, it was surprisingly delicious and I ate every last piece off my plate , then he took the tray to the kitchen and gave me the tea to drink , it tasted sweet with a hint of ginger , it soothed my aching head a little and I could talk in a little louder than a whisper .

Edward spent an hour or so sitting with me and telling me stories about what he and Alice and Emmet used to do to their parents when they were young, they were the devil's incarnates but their parents always indulged them , at the end of his stories I was feeling okay again and the headache was almost gone , then Edward's phone started ringing and he had to take the call so I just excused myself and went to the kitchen so I can serve him a piece of the apple pie I made the day before , when I came back he was still on the phone but had his back to me , he was using his seductive voice so that must have been one of his girls, I rolled my eyes at his theatrics but the was shocked when I heard what he said next:

"I'm stuck here at my neighbors house, she's sick and useless, i had to help her after she begged me, but i will meet you as soon as I can get away from her, so wait for me in my bed, wear that set I bought you " pause " ya that one, but it won't stay on you for long so don't get too attached to it " chuckle " see you soon " then he snapped his phone shut and turned around to face me.

To say I was hurt would be an understatement , I felt like my heart was being squeezed a little harder with every word he said , then as if it was ripped out from inside my chest , how can he be so cruel , how can he be the sweetest guy on the planet one second then be so callous the next! I just couldn't wrap my head around it, I know I had only myself to blame, this hurt too much that I couldn't even say anything smart in return to try and hurt him back or just save face, he had to leave right this second, it was too much to handle, and when he saw me standing there he looked so guilty that I might have been sorry for him if I hadn't just heard what he said.

I went to the front door slowly and opened it just wide enough for him to pass through Then turned back around to face him and told him in the coldest voice I could muster without breaking down to _get out _, he looked like he wanted to argue but thought better of it after looking at my face and sensing how close I was to blowing up , he walked slowly to the door with hunched shoulder and left my apartment , after he took a couple of steps I called his name in a small voice .  
>" please stop hurting me , I don't know how much more I can take " I said softly with tears glistening in my eyes , he nodded , said " I'm sorry " an turned around and left , and then the tears came freely , and my headache returned , I went back to my room , crawled under the covers and cried myself to sleep.<p>

Dad had to leave the next day, but he made me promise to take care of myself, after seeing the dark circles under my eyes and my blotchy face that morning, and call him if I needed anything, he gave me a letter to give to Sue while blushing adorably, I guess we had that in common, after we said our goodbye and dad left I went down with Doggy to the library and spent the rest of the day immersed in fairytales and myths.

At six in the afternoon the door chime tinkled, I looked up from my book to find a woman waiting at the cash counter and looking around for something, so I moved Doggy from my lap, set him on the floor and went to see what she wanted.

"Can I help you miss?"

"Oh, hey ya, this is so cute, there are like books and everything!"

"Thank you, it _IS_ a library and book shop, so how can I help you?"

"Oh right, I'm so silly sometimes, well I was wondering if you sell condoms? Because you see my boyfriend is waiting for me outside in his car, and he said I should come in and ask if you sold any, he said some bookshops like to sell these stuff, and I'm horny and he won't fuck me without a condom, so do you?"

At the end of her rant I was ready to smack her, I mean come ON! How stupid can you get to walk into a library and ask for condoms! _CONDOMS_! Then I looked outside to see what her moron boyfriend looked like, and guess who it was? It was the bastard Edward Cullen! And he was laughing his ass off and enjoying her make an ass out of herself, I shook my head sadly at him and turned to the counter took out a small white paper , wrote a something on it and gave it to the girl .

" no honey we don't sell condoms , but there is a church at the end of the street that does , just give them this paper and they'll be more than happy to give you some condoms , but don't let your boyfriend see it, he seems like the jealous type, pass it on to the father when you get there and he'll take care of you , that's where I get my condoms from " I said sweetly ,and with that the stupid airhead got out of the shop and I went back to my book while laughing evilly at what that jackass was about to go through and making a mental note to finish stage two as fast as i could ,I just had one more detail to work out, that bastard doesn't deserve mercy , and he isn't going to get it .

Oh yeah and the note said: "_my boyfriend is like a horny teenager, so safe sex is better than a bastard child_!"

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Don't you just want to kick his ass?**

**The ultimate payback is next lovlies...**

**Review people ..tell me youR thoughts =))**

**Thank you all for reading and making this story a favorite ,,**

**Till next time :)) ,,**

**FFN**


	9. Chapter 8

**hellooo**

**what you have been waiting for after long is here , its payback time ...**

**my beta is busy , so excuse my mistakes =))**

**Disclaimer : borrowed characters , original plot!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

I spent The next couple of days Making the finishing touches on the post UP letters, that's what I'm calling it Ultimate paybackand thinking about Edward, It wasn't easy, I didn't actually want to hurt him but he needed to learn his lesson, he can't keep living his life playing with everyone's hearts! He has to feel some of the hurt he caused the people around him, it would be hard ,of that I was sure , but I had to go with it, I just had to , that has been my mantra for as long as I can remember and it kept playing over and over again in my head.

After a couple of hours of over thinking everything I couldn't do it anymore , I had to do something else to stop thinking about what's going to happen next , so I took Doggy With me and went for a walk , a while later I was sitting on one of the benches and laughing at Doggy while he played with one of the toddlers sitting in his stroller , the little boy was laughing like crazy, it was adorable that I had to video tape it , while doing so I felt his presence , I stiffened but ignored him and kept on watching Doggy running around and playing with everyone.

"Bella, I know you know I'm here, and I know you don't want to talk to me, believe me after making me sit for a two hour long talk with father banner the other day about my "_sexual problems and the devil_ " and trying uselessly to convince him that it was a joke and I was fine I know I can't mess with you without it getting back to me and biting me in the ass so you know I come in peace, I just wanna tell you something, can you please just hear me out?"

"I'm listening" I said softly

"I can't stop thinking about you; I tried to let you go so many times! I see your face constantly in everything I do, I see your blush, your laugh, your love for everything, u just won't leave my thoughts, whenever I see a man touch you I go crazy, I don't want any man even near you, will you just go out with me and put me out of my misery, just one time and I know you'll be out of my system, please just once?"He begged

This was what I was waiting for, the moment Edward Cullen finally cracked, but I didn't expect that confession, this might hurt him more than I thought ! I must admit that my heartbeats started going faster with every word he said, until he said his usual crap at the end, well he's going to be in a world of pain soon enough, I just hoped it would be the end of our time together, because my heart can't stand much more.

"You know what, I'll go on a date with you" I said and he sprung up happily from his place before I could continue. "Wait, I have a better idea, why don't I cook dinner for us tomorrow, be at my place at eight on the dot, no later "

" I will I will, thank you, I have to go now, but I'll see you soon beautiful" he said and scurried away.

'_Don't thank me yet_ ' I thought with a sad smile.

When I got home I called Jake and gave him the final date , then I called Alice to come by with the gang for support, She gave me the set she bought me and made me try it on for her , they all stayed for a couple of hours then they went home but not before each one of them offering their personal words of motivation, But jasper like always was spot on and knew just what to say ' it has to be done honey, but it will all be okay , don't over think it just rip up the band aid , time will heal all" then kissed me took Doggy for a sleepover at his and Alice's so I don't have to worry about him tomorrow with all that's happening and went away with the others.

I was a mess, I couldn't sleep the night before, every time I got close to eating anything I felt like vomiting, and I kept on thinking of what Edward said the last time, was it possible that he felt that way? Is this the right thing to do? Is he ever going to forgive me? Do I want his forgiveness? Can I do this? Wasn't it a little too cruel? Was I that person? And then I would go over all the things he'd done and get angry for even feeling guilty, he deserves this , and as hard as it is going to be , I will do it, just rip up the band aid like jasper said .

Jake was at my place at seven, he helped me set up for the scene and calm my nerves, I wore the set Alice got me , put on a little makeup , lit some candles around the room , and made up the bed for later , I left the door unlocked and went back to the window to watch and wait for his arrival , at ten to eight I saw him come out of his building and walk towards mine with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a happy excited smile on his face , 'I guess that won't stay on for long' I thought !

I walked to the bed after taking one last breath and sat on Jake's lap, he was naked from the waist up, and the blanked covered his boxers so it would look like he was naked all together, he gave me a reassuring smile and helped me sit on his lap and pull the covers a little higher to cover my panties, then I laid my head on his chest and waited for my queue, it was the longest wait of my life ….

Everything was going in slow motion, I was moaning when the door to the apartment opened, not two seconds later the bedroom door opened and Jake started moaning my name and telling me to ride him faster, groaning how good I felt on top of him and thrusting upward, and then there was a sharp intake of breath, it took all my will power to turn around and look carefree, I looked up at Edward, smiled seductively .

"Oh hey Edward Uhhh, what are oh hmm yaa you doing here? Ungghh Wanna join?" i said while continuing to ride jake, i knew i looked the part , sweaty , almost naked and riding jake like there's no tomorrow, and that was the second that Edward put his hand over his heart and squeezed as if trying to ease the pain, the look on his face when I actually made eye contact with him was shattering , he looked broken, he looked grieved , he looked Wounded , and at that moment he never looked more human, he switched from me to jake a couple of time then realization hit him and he looked up at me with understanding and sorrow , " _you used to be such a pure engel, did i make you this way?_" he said softly before he turned around and left quietly , when i heard the click of the door I let the tears fall freely , what's done is done, there's no going back now .

An hour or so later I had already changed my clothes back to normal, took a shower to wash away the dirtiness I felt and cried myself to sleep in Jake's arms, while he tried to soothe me by murmuring how courageous I was and just holding me in his arms, and the worst thing was I had one more step To make, and I had to do it as soon as I woke up, and that would guarantee Edward never coming back to my life for good.

I woke up at six , thanked Jake for staying and helping me before he left , and then sat in the living room and stared at the wall thinking and trying to get the courage to finish what I had started , at eight it just couldn't wait anymore , I walked to the pile of letters, and started finishing the last twenty or so ones left , when I reached the last one I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't hold or see any more letters, so I took the last one out of the pile , set it on my coffee table , went to the bathroom to wash my face and then went back outside ,took the pile of letters and went and sent them in the mail all together , then I left to Jasper and Alice's where I found solace in Their loving hugs and comforting words and in my Doggy , when i sent the letters i had just finished my payback , and now it was time to lick my wounds and move on, that was my closure.

And in all the 109 letters i added the same thing ,, they all said :_"I'M **NOT** SORRY"_

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><p><strong>AN:**

**So what do u think of the payback?,,tell meeee**

**The next chapter might take longer but this is NOT the end..**

**Till next time**

**FFN**

**XX**


	10. Chapter 9

**helloo lovely readers,,**

**Sorry for the wait but I had a small surgery to have my wisdom tooth pulled out and it was PAINFUL!**

**anyhow here is chapter nine :D**

**disclaimer : borrowed characters , original plot..**

**chapter 9**

"Doggy, come here honey, mommy wants to go home." I shouted from across the field.

It's been six weeks since that night , and two weeks since I hit rock bottom , I just needed to leave , needed to get away ,I couldn't work ,I couldn't eat , I couldn't function , and I thought about that night non-stop, that night I became someone I didn't like , I hurt someone , I willingly broke someone's heart , and I just couldn't deal with what I've become , I didn't like this me , so I needed distance , I needed to get away from everything and everyone , I needed to be free and I needed to make peace with myself.

And so two weeks ago I decided to go to my uncle's cabin in long island, so I just packed, sent texts to everyone with my plans, took Doggy and drove away without looking back, I just drove non-stop, and with every mile I went, my heart felt a little lighter, when I reached the cabin I was laughing freely, this was the change I needed for so long.

Since that night I couldn't look at the building across the street , I never looked up even when I just needed a little peak ,I couldn't handle what I would see , though at nights , when I'm alone and the lights are all off in my bedroom I would still stare for hours at the building hoping to get a glimpse of Edward when he couldn't see me, I was an addict , I got used to him popping up everywhere , and suddenly I was cut off, and that was another reason I had to leave , I had to stop looking , because since that night every time I saw Edward , it was late and he was drunk out of his mind , but there were no girls , so that was a plus , I guess I drove him from one addiction to another , and now if he died from liver failure or something, I can be happy that it was my fault , yeah , so you see I couldn't take it anymore , I had to leave .

The cabin made me miss the library, it was very similar to it but without so many books, and I missed my books, they have been my confidant for years , but I loved it here ,it was a two bedroom cabin on the second floor with a bathroom ,then downstairs where the living room , the huge kitchen , which was a plus, and another bathroom , I just couldn't make myself leave , I felt liberated here , carefree and happy , Doggy loved it here as well ,and he's become my dependant ,I loved to spend the day with him , we would swim in the lake , walk up the mountain and just enjoy the view , he would try to catch birds every day , and always come back empty handed , but he was happy , just like me .

We got home , and I went to the bathroom to get a shower , I'd spent the whole day playing with Doggy in the field and I was all muddy and dirty, when I was almost done and rinsing my body I heard a knock on the door , that was weird since in the two weeks that I've been here no one came to visit me ,if I needed anything I would drive into town and go to the store , so I just put the small towel around me and ran to the door while trying to hold on to it , when I opened the door , I was shocked , standing in front of me looking determined and disheveled was none other than Edward Cullen , and I couldn't utter a single word , so I just stared warily at the beautiful devil and waited for him to talk while tightening my grip on the towel , I saw his eyes follow the movement but kept quiet. After a minute or two of us staring at each other, he cleared his throat.

"I took your address from Alice, she doesn't know I know where you are, she doesn't know I'm here, i-ii just had to see you ."He said then resumed his staring, his eyes got darker, his breathing got heavier, and he was looking at me like a hungry lion and I was his long lost prey.

"What do you want Ed-dward " I asked my voice cracking at the end.

" you " he said then he pounced ,he had me pinned against the closed door , he looked deep into my eyes for a couple of seconds then our mouths were dancing together , our lips were like magnets stuck together , our tongues where fighting for dominance , our bodies were like one ,when we came up for air , his lips never left my body , they traveled down my neck , behind my ear, across my jaw, where he sucked and licked like a thirsty man , and I just let the feeling envelope me , till I was completely under his spell , he nibbled on my ear and his hand clutched the opening of my towel ,

" I know " lick " we have " suck "a lot to " kiss " talk about " lick " but fuck I need you " kiss" please " lick " please " nibble.

And my answer was to pull his mouth back to mine and kiss him with all the pent up feelings I've been having for three years , he was kissing down my collarbone ,then he ripped the towel from around me and stared at my body , " fuck this is a dream come true , your fucking perfect " he said forcefully without taking his eyes of my body , then he lifted me and held up my body with his and went back to kissing every inch of me , while he worshiped my body , I started taking his clothes off , we where both moaning and groaning , I knew we wouldn't make it upstairs so I just let him take me there , against the front door of the cabin , where our sweaty needy bodies united for the first time .

The next morning I woke up to someone licking down my body , I smiled but kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep, but I couldn't pretend for long, his tongue can do amazing things and I couldn't hold back a moan.

"Hmmm, how long are you going to keep pretending to be sleeping? I wanna see those gorgeous eyes sweetheart, "he whispered softly while kissing along my jaw.

I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sight ever, Edward's smiling face , it was strange how all my inhibitions were down while I had him here with me, I was just enjoying his presence , he made me feel something , something I'd rather not think about right now , so I just smiled at him and let those thoughts go for a later time .

" there she is , good morning angel " he said while settling himself between my legs , and when I blushed instead of replying he took it as his queue and entered me , and this is how we spent the morning , with him worshiping my body , and me doing the same , it was natural , it was risky , but it was what I needed .

At noon after taking separate showers o started making us something to eat, I was fully dressed and ready for the confrontation, Edward came in fifteen minutes later, fresh from the shower, gave me a kiss on the cheek and sat next to me at the table, we ate in awkward silence, I was dreading this talk but it was inevitable so I just nibbled on my sandwich and waited for him to speak, and ten minutes later he did.

" I'm sorry , I don't know how to start but I have to tell you I'm sorry , its two years behind but I'm so sorry , you cant imagine how guilty I feel , I know I was a fucking jerk , I know I hurt you , and for that I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn your forgiveness, I didn't mean to hurt you I fucking swear , that night I was drunk out of my mind , I know that's not a fucking excuse but I just want you to know that I was so nervous that I went for a drink , I guess I didn't keep track of how much I had , because the next thing I knew its morning and I was lying on the floor with a fucking excruciating headache , and then everything from the night before came flooding back to me, I'm so fucking sorry, I fucked up big time , but I couldn't face you after that night, I felt so ashamed that I wished the grounds would open up and swallow me for what I did to you, you deserve to be treated with love and care and respect , you deserve to be cherished and taken care of, and I'm so sorry that I broke your heart , I fucking swear I'll do anything you want to earn your forgiveness, just please forgive me, I need you , I can't live without you in my life, these two weeks have been hell, its like I have to see you every day, and I know you don't trust me but I swear to you that if u give me a second chance I'll never break your trust again , just please forgive me ."

And that is where the cards all lay , could I forgive him , should I forgive him , can I ever trust him again , can I open my heart again for him , is he worth it ,do I want to , is he really changed , and the questions just kept coming .

" I tried to leave you alone , I tried to move on , with all those girls , but they weren't you ,I tried to let you live your life without me, to let you find someone nice and caring like you deserve, but I couldn't, I want you , and only you , in whatever way you'll have me , just please say you'll forgive me , so I can live with myself, give me one more chance , I know that's a huge thing to ask but if you find it in your heart to let go of the past ,please tell me now "

"I don't know, i-ii can't give you…, I need time to think, and I-ii need to go to the grocery store so, I'll just be gone for a while but I'll be back and maybe then I'll give you my answer, I-ii have to go now, I need some time to think " and I took my jacket and car keys and drove away to my field, where I can think without him hovering around confusing me and just being there.

After a long agonizing hour of thinking I had made my decision, I'm going to try, I'm going to give Edward a second chance, even if he didn't deserve it ,but I'm going to let him work for it , it won't be easy , but I deserve to be happy ,and I know I've been in love with him forever , I might as well have a try at my happy ending , it might be hard , but I am willing to do it if he really meant what he said , and so I drove home determined and on a mission.

When I reached home, I opened the door quietly and went to search for Edward, but I couldn't find him downstairs so I just went upstairs to my room, and found him sitting on my bed, holding something in his hand and looking at the floor, when he heard me come in his head shot up and he looked furious, which made the smile vanish from my face.

"What's wrong?" I asked cautiously.

He gave me my phone which was the thing clutched tightly in his hand, I had a text from Jake "_ hey babe, I can't wait anymore, I'm coming to see you, and I have a surprise, you're gonna love it "_ oh this wasn't good, Jake would kick Edwards ass if he saw him.

"You have to leave, right now, you have to go, we'll talk later , just go " I said in a hurry .

"You want me to leave so you can fuck him too? You fucking whore, what I wasn't enough for you, you're cheating on both of us? I thought you were better than this but your just a filthy whore, I can't even look at you right now, and don't gave me that fucking innocent wounded look, it won't work this time" he snapped harshly

And just like that , my resolve went shattering away , my walls came up ,and hatred I don't know from where possessed me , this was the last time that Edward Cullen gets to talk to me like that , i looked at the text again trying to understand what he was talking about, from that text he thought that I was fucking around on him, he just came her and he's already staking claim? thank god this is happening before I told him my decision , and with just that I decided to go the other way.

"Get up" I said in a cold voice, and saw him flinch but stand up.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT" I screamed, and he looked up at my sudden outburst startled, then I slapped him with all my might.

"When I'm done talking you will get the hell out of my house , you will never talk to me again , you will never look at me again and you will know that you only have yourself to blame, I have never in my entire life hated someone as much as I do you at this moment ," he flinched again " you come in here , begging for forgiveness, begging for a second chance , and yet you invaded my privacy and make assumptions on your own without even asking , every time you come near me u break me , and I've reached my threshold of pain , what you just did proved that you don't deserve a second chance , and proved that you are still the fucking asshole you where two years ago, I'm actually glad I broke you heart on that night, I don't even feel guilty, I had an amazing fuck , just like you said that night remember?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? You're just mad I caught you , at least I'm not fucking around with two guys at once , and don't fucking say you didn't feel guilty , because I saw the notes u sent me and they were all smudged from your tears , so stop fucking lying and tell the truth, "

"You want the truth ? okay here it comes , two years ago when u started talking to me I was ecstatic , I just couldn't believe that _the _Edward Cullen wanted to go out with me, I kept saying no because I knew that it couldn't be true , you weren't that type of guy , and I wasn't a very sociable girl , I was so scared to go out with you that I had to take a pill , but I still sucked it up and get dressed in a beautiful dress and Alice helped me with my makeup , I looked so pretty that I though this way you might not regret your decision to go out with me , but after an hour of waiting for you to show up , I still thought that something might be wrong , I thought that maybe you hurt yourself, that you fell or something, so I came by your place to check on you , and when I heard the noises I thought someone was at the apartment and was hurting you , I was so naive , but when I opened that door and saw u with your pants undone , and thrusting into that woman , all my fears and securities came crashing in, I kept thinking why would you want to go out with me but to humiliate me the way you're doing, and the worst part was u actually invited me to join, that night after I ran home , all your family came by and tried to calm me down , and from that night on I was broken , and nothing or no one could fix me , but I still went on with my life , and then when I saw how torn Alice and Emmet where I told them to go talk to you , I told them that u need your family , o made them come see you , because after all you did to me I still felt bad for you , and then I started growing up , depending on my own , but having someone to take care of me or have my back helped me so much , I stopped being a love struck teenager but I still couldn't let you go , no matter what I did I still loved you , and then u started actually talking to me , though you were drunk , still I felt my heart jump every time I saw you , and so I decided that the only way I could get over you and get you out of my life was by payback , you needed to feel what I felt , and it was the hardest thing that I ever had to do , but I did it because I needed you to leave me alone, I needed someone to love me , and I needed to let you go ,I knew you would never love someone like me , no matter how I looked , so I had my plan , and you fell right into the trap , that night on our so called date , I was in so much pain that I kept on crying non-stop , even when I tried to hurt you I hurt me, but I still went with it , and when I saw you face I started sobbing so hard that Jake had to stay with me, he was so scared I was going to break down that he stayed and took care of me, but I had one more step to finish , those stupid letters u kept sending me because you didn't have the guts to tell me face to face you're sorry , and even those where so hard on me that at the end I couldn't stop sobbing , so you see , all this years , all that you did to me , and i still loved you so fucking much that I couldn't even pay you back just a little , I still cared if even a small thing hurt you , but you don't , and today is the day I shed my last tears for you , GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKED UP DISCUSTING PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING , and believe me after this night , I only carry hate for you , hate that I never thought I could feel , but congratulations this is just another new feeling that you've introduced me to , and disrespect me one more time and I will physically hurt you so bad that the scar I leave will make you remeber this night as long as you're alive, and I know it's silly of me , but I was coming back here to give you another chance , I wanted to try having a relationship with you, stupid me once again, and I wanted you to leave before Jake came because he will fucking kick you sorry ass , I can't believe I was actually worried about you , but it's ok , that won't happen ever again , NOW GET THE FUCK OUUTT" I screamed through my stupid tears .

I ran downstairs , opened the front door for him , and waited for him to get out ,I didn't want to look at him , so I just stared ahead , when he reached me I looked him straight in the eye with all the pent up hate that was inside of me , he looked broken , tortured , and sad , but at that moment I didn't give a fuck , he tried to reach out for me , but a snatched my hand away before he could and waited for him to leave , I didn't see Jake had already arrived with someone , but there he was on the front yard making out with him , when Edward took a couple of steps outside the cabin and actually saw what was happening , he looked back at me with horror, he just pieced out the pieces together and he just realized exactly what he did , and what I meant in the beginning of my speech upstairs , he screamed a single _'fuck '_ , looked back at me with his eyes glistening with tears , and at that moment they made me rejoice inside , but I still stared at him ,.

"You _fucking_ made your bed" I said venomously and slapped the door in his face , hopefully for the last time .

**A/N:**

**Thank you for the reviews, I'll reply to all of them im just a little behind...**

**Tell me your thoughts, isn't Bella wonderful? ...**

**Thank you for all of you who made this story a favorite =))**

**Thank you for reading..**

**Update soon,,**

**FFN **

**xx**


	11. Chapter 10

**Just like you guys wanted, an EPOV**

**Disclaimer: borrowed characters , original plot..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Purgatory, that's where I am right now, this is what happens when you ruin the best thing that could have ever happened to you in every possible way, when you crush the soul of an angel, when you screw up someone's life in the most brutal way that ever existed, this is where you reside, in purgatory.

When you know that you hurt someone it will makes you feel guilty, but knowing that you did it to the only one that has ever mattered to you is torture, guilt in this situation was just the first phase of an onslaught of gut wrenching emotions, and to know that you kept on hurting that someone till they reached their breaking point makes you wish you were actually dead, how could I have done this, why was I such a fuck up, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why couldn't I just be normal for her , why couldn't I stay away and save her from me , after everything I did to her she still gave me a chance , and I threw it back in her face without thinking .

At that moment I honestly didn't even care that she was with someone , I only cared that it was him , and I just wanted to retaliate , to sum it up , I just wanted to hurt her , I should have given her the Benefit of the doubt , she never gave me reason to even think that she was that kind of girl, but I was , and knowing myself I mistrusted her without having a reason to and I still called her a whore , and watched as the last drop of innocence and sweetness vanished from her face , and it was all my fault , I turned her this way , I took away her innocence , i planted hatred inside of her , I made her doubt herself and her beauty , I made her doubt everything that she was pretty much perfect at , and I didn't even know it , I was a stupid fucking prick and never thought once about the consequences of my actions.

when I asked her out I didn't actually think she'll go out with me , she was an angel and i was the devil , I just wanted to try something new , when i went to get a drink that night one led to another and before I knew it I had lots then I saw this gorgeous knockout and thought i could have some fun with her and still go and enjoy Bella , what the hell was I thinking ? and that night was just the start, I couldn't even leave her alone , I started stalking her after Alice and Emmet started talking to me again , I didn't have the guts to apologize to her , i just couldn't leave her , I couldn't understand it at the time , I just needed to see her all the time , then I had the decency to think that if I fucked her once I would let her go and live a happy man , and I was still too cocky to believe she won't go out with me , in the end i was Edward fucking Cullen ,and that was one of my many mistakes , I thought too much of myself that i didn't even consider she might not want me , that she might actually get hurt from what I'm doing , I only had myself in mind.

That night when she told me to come over for dinner I was so happy , I thought I was going to burst from joy , this was what I needed , this is what I had missing in my life , Bella , and then she went and repaid me for what I did to her , I knew I deserved that , she tried to tell me that she didn't want to go out with me , that she didn't trust me , that she wouldn't even think about it after what I did to her but I still persisted , and what i felt at the moment I opened the door was nothing i wanted to feel ever again, i felt my heart squeeze so hard and then felt it being ripped out from inside of me , is this how Bella felt when she saw me that night ? Fuck this hurts , how did she ever deal with it , how could she ever talk to me again! But that was just Bella , too good for words .then after some time had passed another question came to me ,Did this mean i'm in love with her? And that was my wakeup call , i was in a battle with myself , trying to find another reasoning another explanation , but at the end of that month it was the only thing that kept playing in my head , I WAS IN LOVE WITH BELLA.

And then suddenly she left , and not being able to see her everyday wasn't something I was able to deal with , I needed her like air , so I stole Alice's phone and checked her messages and found out where Bella was , I've heard about this place a lot of times , it was easy to find , when i got there and saw Bella in that fucking not there towel I couldn't stop myself, I felt alive with her there, and I just had this suffocating urge to claim her, to kiss her, to love her, to worship her, and lastly, to fill her.

She let me in , she let me love her no questions asked , she let me worship her , and she gave as good as she got , I was in heaven , never once did she question me , never once did she push me away , and I loved her more for it , yet as always I still had to fuck Everything up , and when she started telling me everything I became frozen with shock, was I really such a monster?, had I really done such fucked up things to my angel ? She kept going and I felt my frozen heart burn with guilt and shame , when she told me to get the fuck out of her life I didn't even question her, she had every right to fucking throw me out of her home ,and her life ,but that wasn't the end of my misery , I still deserved more and when i saw the guy i accused her of fucking and being a whore with kissing another guy that was the end , she was right , I made my bed , and I had to sleep in it .

I left that day and drove straight home , I had to rid Bella of me , everything she said kept playing over and over again in my head that at one point I couldn't drive anymore , I stopped on the side of the road and cried like I haven't in ten years , I cried for how much hurt I caused Bella , I cried for the love that I have for her that meant nothing anymore, I cried for the love she had for me that I crushed repeatedly without a second thought , and I cried for knowing that I messed things up so badly that believed she could never forgive me, and I cried because I knew I didn't deserve her forgiveness , and that was when I couldn't breathe.

After I calmed down and reached home I started thinking of a way that could just let Bella live her life without anymore heartache , and the only solution was me out of the picture , at least for a while until Bella can stand to look at me again, or till I couldn't stay away anymore , but I had to make it right before I actually left , I had to talk to her but since I knew that wasn't possible , I had to settle for the next best thing ,writing her an email and hoping to god that she'll read it ,And reply at some far away point if ever..

After writing the email I started packing , I wanted to leave before she came home , I owed her that much , and after trying non-stop to do it and failing because of the overwhelming guilt that was consuming me and my bleeding hand that wouldnt stop after i punched the wall repeatedly, i just took what I had packed already and left the rest , i welcomed the overwhelming pain on all sides ,my mind was jumbled with Questions , and I needed time to sort myself out , to be someone that Bella would at least be friends with if nothing more, that was my mission, and after she chooses , I just hoped I would have the strength to accept her decision whatever it may be .

I left to forks the next day, they offered me a job a long time ago but I didn't want o leave at the time, but now I had to, they still needed me so that was a plus , I bought a small apartment close to the hospital and unpacked , I refused to answer any calls that came in from my family, but sent them texts to tell them im alive and where I am , the email was always on my mind, but I was still hesitant to send it, I threw myself into work, and did nothing more , I just worked all he time , and before I knew it , two months has passed and I hadn't sent the letter yet, so on the day that second moth ended , I finally hit SEND , and waited .

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Im sorry its short but i hope you all liked it , was his pain satisfying ?**

**How's their futur coming up with you guys ?**

**Tell me your thoughts ..:))**

**Update in a couple of days or so ,,won't take long**

**FFN **


	12. Chapter 11

**Hello hello… =))**

**Excuse any mistakes please =) my beta is busy ,,,**

**Disclaimer: borrowed characters, original plot**

**Chapter 11**

Three months ago I received an email , and till this day I haven't opened it , being busy was what I might lie and tell anyone who asked , not that Anyone knew,  
>being scared shitless of what it might say was the actual reason. I've had enough heartbreak to last me a life time , I couldn't take anymore , but it was time to read it , I am ready now.<p>

Sender: e-aCullen  
>Subject: PLEASE read it whenif you're ready.

_Dear Bella,_

_I thought it would be best to send you this email, I know u can't stand to look at me and I don't blame you, but please read this only when you might have another thought than your hatred for me in mind, I deserve everything you give me but I truly need you to read this with an open heart._

_To say that I am sorry would be the understatement of the century , I am more than sorry , I would beg you on my knees for forgiveness if you'd let me, I have hurt you in ways I can't even think about without wanting to kill myself , I hate myself more than you can imagine, I never in my life thought I could do the things I did to you to anyone, but sadly I did and I beg you with all my heart to have mercy on me , which I am well aware that I don't deserve , I came to the cabin to tell you my true feelings and apologize but in the end I broke your heart even more than it was already broken , what you said that day was a wakeup call , I needed it to break me like it did, but I am more heartbroken because of the pain that I made you relive, please know how unbelievably sorry I am , for everything that I did from the very first day you knew me ._

_I've always thought you were different ,a beautiful angel , and I am sorry I ever made you doubt yourself, when I think about everything I have done to you only one question pops in my mind , how could you stand it? But then I remember what a strong woman you are and it makes me proud even though it makes me a fucking crazy ass prick , I still wanted to tell you that ._

_I left because I knew you couldn't bear to see me anymore , and I thought I could at least grant you that , when I come back I will respect your wishes , still I will always hope for the best but after all the things I did I won't hold my breath , and please don't feel guilty if u never forgive me , you're too good of a person and I know you will feel that you might have to but please don't listen to your guilt , if you can't forgive me I understand , I wouldn't forgive me if I were you , but I will still hope your hatred for me might cool down as the time passes._

_I have never felt this way about anyone, but I won't tell you the words in writing, you deserve to hear them from someone better , from someone who deserves you and wouldn't be too much of a coward to face his mistakes , but you have to know you will always be the girl of my dreams in my heart and soul, even if you never forgive me , my feelings for you will never change, I am a man with half a heart and the rest is with you.._

_In the end I beg you again to forgive me and allow me into your life again in whichever way you see possible , I know I don't deserve it but I am a selfish person and a hopeful changed man, more so with each passing day, so maybe you'll want to know the real me ? Maybe not, it's your choice no matter what you decide I will respect you decision ,,,_

_My throat burns with words I long to say to you but wouldn't dare to because I'm not worthy of them.._

_Yours forever,_  
><em>Edward Anthony Cullen<em>

I couldn't believe my eyes, after reading the letter four times it hit me, Edward was actually pouring his heart out, he was telling me in the most sincere way how sorry he was, and I believed him, he sacrificed his home to give me peace of mind, he put me before himself, I felt his remorse pouring out, he left me speechless, he left me confused, but most of all his words left me feeling happy, excited and content, I needed to hear them as unexpected as they were .

But as close to heart as they may be, I couldn't forget what he did, I could forgive him but more than that was just too much to ask right now, did I feel guilty? Of course I did, but I still couldn't handle him being close to me, I don't know if I could handle him in my life yet if ever, maybe time will help me decide, but for now I'm not going to push myself, I'm going to live my life normally and hope in time my feelings will become clearer, for now I had an email to reply to that couldn't wait much longer.

I spent the next couple of days going over the email in my head and going over scenarios that might happen or could happen next, I needed to make up my mind and give him an answer, as bad as he might have been to me he still deserved an answer, which i gave him three days later, I hit send quickly before I changed my mind and chickened out.

Later I went to see Angela , she was due any day now and Ben was scarred shitless , he didn't know what to do to help her, he felt so guilty and worried all the time it was heartwarming to watch, though Angela didn't think so, she wanted the baby out of her and blamed Ben for it all the time, the girls and I spend most days by her side trying to occupy her with something other than the baby and trying to give Ben a break from the stress he's feeling ,we were inseparable these days , always together, we grew closer than before, and I enjoy those times , rose and Emmet were like two peas in a pod, and her being here finally after all this time of his waiting made it easier for them to continue their relationship, wedding bells where just around the corner for theses two, Emmet was ready , he just needed to create the perfect setting for Rosalie, Alice and jasper are trying for a baby now , and they're really excited, Alice would spend hours just talking to Angela about her pregnancy and trying to learn more while I spent most of my time with Rosalie when they were talking.

While we were hanging around in the cafe across Angela's house Jake and Sam showed up , that was Jake's surprise that day when he came to see me at the cabin, he had met Sam at the grocery store the other day and they clicked right away, Emmet was still freaked out about Sam from that time he made a move on him but he was trying to act nonchalant about it, Sam takes advantage of that and flirts with him every now and then just to get a rise out of him, its pretty hilarious. Today Sam and Jake announced they were moving in together, and everyone erupted with congratulations, we really liked Sam , and they had great chemistry, so Sam was accepted in the group without a second thought, after all he was Jake's boyfriend and they made a perfect couple , just one more happy ending .

When I got home I checked my messages, called both my parents to check on them, mom and Phil where traveling again and where enjoying their time so much that they didn't want to go home, dad was reluctant but admitted that he was talking to sue everyday and he was thinking of moving closer to here so they can try out a relationship which was really adorable and lovely for them.

I sat at my laptop and re-read what I wrote to Edward before I went to bed.

Sender:Bswan-C  
>Subject: Hello<p>

_Dear Edward,_

_You don't have to stay away anymore, come home, I'm trying to forgive you but it might take time, I'm sorry you had to leave because of me though I appreciate your thoughtfulness I won't let you stay away from your loved ones anymore, so come home and we'll see where we'll go from there._

_Thank you for the email , I value your honesty and though I might still need time, that doesn't mean I hate you, right now I don't know what I feel exactly , but it's not hate._

_Regards,_  
><em>Isabella swan<em>

**A/N:**

**Don't worry Edward won't be away much longer, I miss him too =))**

**Are you still with me or am I alone ? Shout YES if yes =DD just kidding lol **

**Tell me your thoughts, don't hold back =)… **

**I'm sorry I didn't get to reply to the reviews for the previous chapter, but there's something wrong with the ff website, I will reply soon though so don't worry …**

**Happy **Belated **valentine's day =) **

**FFN **

**XX**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, I hope you're a good weekend..**

**Enjoy …**

**Disclaimer: borrowed characters, original plot…**

**Chapter 12 **

A week has gone by since I replied to the e-mail, and I've never been happier, there's something weird about having someone who wronged you making things right that lifts up your spirits tenfold, no guilt is there anymore, and a fresh life awaits you, I wasn't in jitters, I wasn't worried about what might happen next, I wasn't nervous about seeing him again, I was just living my life as it happens, and I met someone new, he came looking for a book about two weeks ago, and we got to talking, he's a psychologist, really cute with a five o'clock shadow that I couldn't resist on men, he's just a little taller than me, he's really nice and cheerful, flirts a lot , he's been coming to the shop a frequently , and I was enjoying his company.

When I was just opening the shop my phone rang , I left the door open and went to answer the phone, it was Angela freaking out and in labor, screaming at me to get to the hospital, I tried to calm her down and assured her that I was on my way and that I won't be long, hung up and called Leah; my recently employed twenty year old who was looking for a job for the summer, and told her that I won't be at the shop, then I texted everyone and was just about to leave when I collided with someone, but I didn't fall because he held me up with his hands on my upper arms, I lifted my head up and smiled .

"Hey Paul, I'm sorry I'm in a rush but I really have to go, my friend is having a baby and I have to get to the hospital, I really can't talk, but you're welcome to stay oh here's Leah " I said in a rush but didn't miss the spark in his eyes when I said Leah's name, but I didn't have time to think about that now, I had to go so I left them there and ran to my car, got in and drove straight to the hospital.

When I reached there and parked, I walked hurriedly inside, I asked the nurse where the room was and flew to the elevators to the tenth floor, when I reached the fifth it pinged and the doors opened, the man of past dreams was standing in front of me shaking hands with his father, the other dream come true , and I thanked god I was in a rush and didn't have time to think about him right here in front of me in all his glory.

"Bella, it's good to see you honey, what are you doing here?" Carlisle said smiling fondly.

"hey guys, Angela is having a baby and she's freaking out and I have to reach her before she kills Ben, I'm sorry I can talk right now but I'll come by to see you later "I said quickly glancing briefly at Edward and noticing the heated look that he gave me which made me blush, then the look was gone and he spoke.

"I'm going to the tenth floor so I can get you to Angela faster if you'd like?" he said hesitantly

"Oh um yes thank you, that would be great, I'll see you later Carlisle say hi to Esme for me" I said and the doors closed in on me and Edward alone in he too small elevator.

"How have you been?" he said after an awkward silence.

"Fine thank you, welcome home" I said giving him a small smile and going back to play with my phone.

"Thank you, I've _missed _home more than you can imagine " he said in a way that made me look up at him, that look was back, and I was trapped in it, I couldn't look away, it was so heated and raw, like he was trying to tell me something he couldn't say in words, his lips parted as if he was going to say something but suddenly the elevator doors opened and the moment was gone, we got out and rushed to Angela's room both with frowns on our faces.

Three hours later there was still no baby, everyone was in the waiting room trying to occupy themselves with something to make the time pass, I checked in on Leah and made sure everything was going fine in the library and she didn't need anything, then I left to go for a walk because my legs were numb from sitting for so long next to Leah and trying to take her mind of the pain. When I reached the lobby and was on my way out I glimpsed a copper head to my right but didn't dare to look and just went on my way.

I started walking around the hospital when I heard footsteps behind me , I didn't care to turn around , I was too tired , I just took a couple of steps and sat on one if the benches with my back to the person following me .

"Can I talk to you?" the velvety voice said.

I didn't have the strength to do or say anything so I just shrugged. He sat next to me then and didn't say anything fir a couple of minutes.

"I just wanted to apologize again for all the things I made you go through, I wanted to ask you a question too, but can u please look at me? I really missed your eyes" he said softly and with a fluttering heart and a blush that I could feel seeping to my cheeks I looked up into his eyes.

"Will you ever forgive me?" he asked looking deep into my soul.

" i-i think so , but I need to see in my own eyes that you've changed, I need to know that you won't hurt people like you used to even if I lost my chance , at least the next girl wont," I whispered with a heavy heart that waited for him to blow up at me like always , u braced myself while looking at the floor, an suddenly he was in front of me on his knees holding my hands in his and looking into my eyes with sadness.

"no Bella, I want you to see that I've changed because of you, for you, u must not have understood my email, I need you to understand it, I know right now you're not ready, but I won't give up, you will see it in time, I have one more huge request to ask you and I don't need your answer now, but please consider it" he said urgently . And all I could do was nod.

"Will you let me be your friend? That's all I ask for now, just please think about it." he whispered softly still looking deep into my eyes.

If he kept looking at me like that just a few more seconds I would have said yes! But thank fully he just gave my hands another squeeze and smiled at me sadly before leaving me to my thoughts. What did I have to lose? Well right now I couldn't think of anything but my heart, i don't think I could stand being close to him without my old feelings resurfacing, but I should try and see if he is actually changed shouldn't I ?no I shouldn't , it's too risky, I might get hurt again, but what if he's really changed, what if I CAN Be friends with him and that's all we ever be , i can live with that right , my heart won't be vulnerable and I wont expect anything from our friendship , yes I think I can do that , but maybe I couldn't ! Arrghhh! I can't think about this anymore! I stood up from my seat and went inside and back to Angela, she was ready to have her baby.

Two days later Angela was out of the hospital and going home, and i was back at the library shelving books and preparing a small party for the baby boy she had, who was a little alien like for now , but had gorgeous hazelnut eyes , everything was ready , my books where ready , I was just gift wrapping them when Paul came by and went straight to Leah after saying ' hi' and asking about Angela , it's like he gravitated towards her and I don't know how I never noticed, she blushes every time he comes close to her, and he looks at her with such adoration that I had to look away, I still think he's hot , now I can enjoy hi beauty without worrying about anything else, he wasn't mine and it made me feel relieved for a reason that I couldn't find.

Paul left a couple of minutes later, I was just sitting behind the register and talking to Leah about Angela's baby, and inviting her to the party I told her she can bring Paul if she wanted , she blushed a little and said she'd tell him, then the door chime twinkled and Leah went to set up the shelves that the last customer was searching through and I looked up to see who just came in and saw it was Edward, a smile formed at my face without thinking , he looked so nervous that I couldn't hide it , I wasn't used to this Edward but before he could see me I wiped the amused smile off my face and put a polite on in its place .

"Hello Edward, what can I help you with today?" I asked

He looked troubled but rearranged his features and cleared his throat.

" I just came by to ask about Angela, how is she? " he said.

" oh she's wonderful, overwhelmed a little but she's really happy, so is Ben, we're having a little party for them tomorrow at six, you should come" I said softly.

" I appreciate it but I know I'm not welcomed, i know u hate me and i really didn't mean to pressure you like that I'm—" he said looking guilty and unsure but Leah's coming to the cash register Cut him off and I took my chance.

" oh Leah , come here honey I want you to meet Edward, he's a friend of mine" i said confidently and gave Edward a reassuring smile when he looked up at me startled but hopeful, and he returned it, after meeting him Leah went back to shelving and Edward was looking at me with gratitude.

"I want you to be my friend Edward, it's all I can offer you, but please don't hurt me, I can't take anymore heartbreak" I hesitated a little "why don't you come to the party, we have to start somewhere, and I'm sure everyone misses you" I said gently with a genuine smile at the end.

He looked at me for a couple of second which was starting to make me nervous, then He gave me a beautiful smile and leaned in like he was going to hug me but then changed his mind after seeing something in my face that must have alerted him, he said thank you, he'll see me tonight and left with a new gleam in his eyes.

**A/N:**

**Do we like this Edward?**

**Tell me your thoughts, I'll be waiting to read them, =))**

**Thank you for all those who made this story a favorite..**

**Thank you for reading !**

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**XX**


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey hey :D**

**Disclaimer: borrowed characters, original plot.**

We were having fun, even with children's music and lullabies it was still fun and we were enjoying our time, the inner child inside all of us was out full force , dancing , playing childhood games ,singing and eating candy, that was pretty much it, right now I was dancing with Emmet on Barbie girl, we were making absolute fools out of ourselves but it was really fun, and neither of us cared, everyone was acting crazy today, Emmet was trying to play the guy and I was trying to play the girl, by the end of the song we were both lying on the floor laughing so hard that we were gasping for air and tears were streaming down our faces, it was hilarious, and evil Alice had it all on tape.

Edward was quiet most of the night but he looked happy, every now and then he would laugh at a joke or at something stupid one of us did or said, but a couple of times I would glance his way and see him looking at the floor with a frown on his face, he was feeling out of place and it made me feel guilty, but I couldn't do anything about it, it was too soon and I didn't know him that well to engage him in anything, so I just looked up at Jasper who was watching me watch Edward, which was weird , I pointed my head in Edward's direction and smiled, he would handle it .

I was making coffee for everyone when Edward came into the kitchen and jumped on one of the counters, he looked more relaxed now, jasper had him sing a cartoon song with Alice, it was adorable how these two worked ,and it seemed to be the push that Edward needed to stop feeling like he doesn't belong, he sat playing with an apple for a couple of moments then he looked up at me with a smirk.

" did you know that I used to love to read children's books till I was fourteen, ya I used to spend hours and hours reading about fairytales and love stories, and as I grew up and still enjoyed reading stuff like that they thought I was gay, but I didn't care, I used to wonder how these princesses always waited for their knight In shining armor, how they knew right away when they saw them that they were their destiny, and always they would find a way to live happily ever after, no matter what happens they always got through it because they loved each other unconditionally ." he said thoughtfully

I chuckled "I still read romantic novels and love stories, but what I wonder about all the time is how can a girl put her whole trust, her body and soul, her feelings and heart in the hands of a man she thinks she loves, I always wondered how can they do that, but the answer always comes back to love, like that solves anything, but I don't believe it, I don't think its love, but I still haven't found the answer to my question, how can u trust someone so fully and know that that person will guard that trust more than that person's life because they would know how vulnerable it makes you to give it in the first place, I guess it's just the way life is, not everything has an explanation, but not everyone can do it so ya."I replied lost in thoughts.

"I found the answer to that not long ago" he said looking deep onto my eyes. "it wasn't easy and I might never get a chance to actually live it, but I believe it _is_ simply love, I regret not knowing it sooner but I won't give up easily, I have nothing and everything to lose but I believe in the end it will be more than worth it " he said softy with that heated look again. I didn't understand why he gave me that look but I still blushed, then my mind wandered to what he was talking about, did he really find that girl he's meant to be with, I suddenly felt both relieved and sad, relieved because that might make our friendship easier, but I didn't know why I felt sad, and I didn't want to think about it anymore than necessary so I just looked up at him.

"well I'm glad you found that person, take good care of her and her feelings and I'm sure she won't let you down, maybe tell her what you told me one day, she might need to hear it" I smiled reassuringly at him and got back to the party with the coffee tray in my shaking hands, why they were shaking I had no idea.

At the end we watched tangled before calling it a night and going each our separate way home, when I reached home I saw Edward sitting on my front steps, I stopped at first not knowing what to do, but then I decided to act normal, there is nothing to worry about.

"Did you miss me?" I joked

"I just came to say thank you for inviting me, I had fun and I appreciate it" he replied smiling.

"You welcome, I'm glad you had fun, have a good night" I said gently and started heading up the steps to my apartment when he grabbed my hand to stop me.

"Can I give you a kiss goodnight?" he said softly, I blushed and looked skeptical so he continued.

"It's just a friendly kiss I swear".

So I nodded, and he leaned in till his scent enveloped me, my eyes closed on their own accord , and I waited with butterflies in my stomach till I felt his lips on my cheek, his full lips where caressing my cheek tenderly and I thanked god I was holding the railing, because if I hadn't been I would have fallen from the impact of that kiss .he kissed me once but didn't remove his lips from my cheek right away, I could feel him inhale, like he was breathing me in like i did him, then he slowly leaned in more till his lips where right next to my ear and whispered a good night and disappeared from in front of me before I had time to register anything.

That night I stayed up in my bed thinking, being close to Edward was going to be harder than I thought, and I can't have him play with my emotions like that, I have to control myself from now on before I fell for him again, that can never happen, besides he's in love with someone so I should use that as an advantage, this way I won't feel what I shouldn't, I just needed to keep him at a certain distance, and maybe in time I'll get used to him being around me and not be affected by it, but until then I had to keep check on my emotions, and that won't be easy.

I was sitting in Sue's bakery when I looked outside and saw Edward walking down the street with a beautiful woman, she had gorgeous flowing long black hair, big almond shape eyes and she was just a little shorter than him, and they were laughing together, 'this might be the girl he was talking about ' I thought to myself, well this will make it easier to talk to him after last night's kiss, so I waved at him when he looked up at me and gave him a big toothy smile, he looked nervous when they came inside the shop which I didn't understand why, he did the greetings, apparently this was Emily , they worked together, I guess it makes sense that he would love her, she sat next to me and we started talking, she loved the idea that I had a library and promised that she will come visit one day when she has the chance, she loved to read and was excited to see my library, which I was damn proud of, then she stood up to order and I Edward stayed at the table, he was looking uncomfortable, so I tried to ease his nerves.

" I like her and she's gorgeous, now I understand what you where talking about last night, but don't be nervous and just tell her, she might feel the same way and your concern will be for nothing, and calm down it can't be that hard" I said smiling at him while he looked lost , like he didn't understand what I was talking about, then just when I saw recognition flash in his eyes Emily came back, and Edward looked at me in horror, which made my smile disappear, I couldn't understand him at all, so I just excused myself smiled at Emily and gave Edward a concerned look and left to go back to the library.

I took Doggy for a walk in the park that evening, he was growing up so fast, I cant believe its been a little over six months since I got him, he always makes me feel safe, he knows when someone is bad and takes a protective stand in front of me, and knows when someone is nice and good and he goes to that person so he or she can pet him and play with him, and that's why when we were on our way home and Doggy took a protective stand in front of me I was on alert, it was dark but I looked up and saw two guys staggering towards me.

" hey sugar, I'll call you candy if you give me some" one of them said unsteadily while the other laughed and came closer "look at those beautiful brown eyes, are you scared baby" the other one taunted , at that point Doggy was barking non-stop and my heart stopped beating , I thought I could run , but that wouldn't be easy, I could hit one of them with my bag, but that was silly and won't help, they cornered me against the wall and there was nowhere to go ,Doggy jumped on one of them and held him down while the other one was right in front of me and was just going to lean in and kiss me when I lifted up my knee and hit him as hard as I could right between his legs, he howled in pain and fell to the floor while calling me a bitch, just then the other one shoved Doggy away by hitting him with his elbow, stood up and advanced towards me with fire in his eyes, he was mad ,I stuck my body to the wall and tried to think of anything else to do when out of nowhere a body collided with the man and he started screaming in pain, the guy kept on breathing heavily and punching the asshole over and over again tell he was unconscious , then he turned around and started beating the other one while saying stuff I couldn't make out, after he beat him a couple of times till he stopped moving he looked up and the look in his eyes was murderous then when his eyes focused on me they softened and that's when I let everything go and started sobbing uncontrollably , it was Edward and I was safe.

Doggy came and stood next to me while moaning from the pain of the hit he got , I put my arms around him and continued crying, I heard Edward talking to someone but I couldn't hear what he said , after a couple of seconds I I felt hands encircle me and a body holding me close , I threw my hands around his neck and let all my tears go freely, he kept on saying soothing words and rubbing my arms, after a couple of minutes I calmed down but didn't lift my head up from Edward's chest .

"Are you okay sweetheart? Did they hurt you?" he said softly

"i-m o-k-a-y , I don't e-even know wh-y in crying, " I whispered.

"It's okay now, they won't hurt you anymore, you're safe, are you okay to walk?" he said gently.

I tried to stand but I fell right down, my legs felt like jello, so Edward put his arms around me and lifted me up without effort, I kept my hands around his neck and my head on his shoulder while he carried me home with Doggy following us and police sirens ringing around us, I guess Edward called the cops.

Edward got me home, and into bed, he took my shoes and jacket off and tucked me in, then sat next to me for a couple of minutes while I stared into space, he was just about to get up when I grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Will you stay with me please, I don't want to be alone tonight" I whispered. he stared at me for a couple of seconds then stood up, I panicked thinking he was going to leave me but then he took his shoes and sweater off and laid down next to me and opened his arms for me, I didn't hesitate to lay my head on his chest, with his scent and his warm embrace I was out like a light within seconds, tomorrow was going to be interesting.

**A/N:**

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	15. Chapter 14

**Hey readers .. =)**

**Hope you're all doing well … **

**Disclaimer: borrowed characters, original plot line.**

**Here you go ….**

**Chapter 14**

The next morning I woke up alone! For some reason I felt disappointed, what did I expect though; I guess he left when I fell asleep last night. I got out of bed, took a quick shower, got dressed and checked on Doggy who was okay now but i still felt guilty that he got hit saving me; he's so brave for such a little guy.

I was sitting in the library lost in thought about last night, what could have happened if Edward hadn't showed up when he did, I shuddered at the thought, I owed Edward so much, I didn't know how I'd repay him but I will, he didn't have to help me or risk getting hurt like he did but he did it anyway and for that I valued him more than ever, but I still had to do something in return for him. Just at that moment Emily came in, and an idea sprung to life in my mind.

When i finished with the customers I went to sit next to Emily, we got to talking about patients And the hospital, I slipped Edward's name in the conversation and she was more than willing to talk about him, she seemed to really like him so this wasn't going to be hard, I told her we should all go out and have dinner together and set a date for the next day while feeling a little less guilty about last night because i was helping Edward a little.

Later that day I was just closing up the library when my phone started ringing, it was a number I didn't recognize so i answered formally.

"Bella swan speaking"

"hey Bella its Edward, How are you?" asked his warm voice.

"Hey, I'm good thank you, and thank you for calling I wanted to talk to you but didn't have your number."

"oh well I got yours from jasper, I'm sorry I left this morning without saying anything or leaving a note but the police called and wanted us to come downtown, I told them that only I could make it so you can get some sleep and I left in a hurry, they want you to go later and sign some papers .Bella really how are you after last night?" he said concerned.

" I'm fine I swear, and thank you for staying with me last night I was just shaken up and didn't want to be alone, I don't know what might have happened if you hadn't shown up when you did, I don't know how to thank you really , you saved my life Edward." I said softly

" I'm just glad you're safe, I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you" he said then paused and changed the subject quickly" so I heard we're going out tomorrow" .

"oh ya, you know it might be fun, you'll spend more time with Emily that way, and I'll get to know her better, she seems nice" I said flippantly, I didn't want him to know my plan to leave them after ten minutes with an emergency.

He was quiet for a couple of seconds then exhaled" ya it's just what we need" he said gently then he had to go because he had surgery so we hung up the phone.

After I finished giving my statement and signing some papers at the police station I went to the grocery Store to get the items on my list, when I reached the candy section I lost myself in all the choices I had, I loved candy too much, it was my weakness sadly, that's why I tried to avoid this section as much as possible, it was too late now for the damage has happened And I would take full advantage of it, and I did, I bought so much candy that some might think it was Halloween, and I did it as fast as I could trying not to run into some one I know, my secret should stay a secret.

That was the case until I reached home, I thought I had gotten away with my candy festival, but just when I parked I glanced across the street and saw that Edward was just coming out of his building and walking towards me, I didn't have time to react so I just hid the bag behind me and smiled nervously hoping he wouldn't notice the huge bag I held behind me.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you if you have a second, let me Help you with your groceries and we can talk upstairs" he said returning my smile with a carefree one and trying to reach for the bag.

"NO!" I snapped and snatched the bag away before he could reach it, he looked shocked.

"I mean I can carry it, its okay I don't want to bother you" I amended in a calmer voice and sidestepped him into my building, I glanced back and he was looking at me dubiously but then he followed me inside. When we reached the apartment I was busy locking the door when suddenly the bag was snatched out of my hand by Edward, I screamed and ran after him and tried to take it back but he wouldn't budge he kept laughing at me and holding it away, he was really strong even when I tried to jump on his back to stop him he held me up like I weighed nothing and tried to look inside the bag, so I had to think fast. I brought my lips near his ear and started whispering in a seductive voice.

"Edward, honey can you give me the bag please? How about I cook you dinner instead, hmm wont that be nice" while playing with his hair then I started nibbling on his ear and moaning and that's when the bag dropped to the floor, and I was suddenly turned around and pinned against one of the kitchen cabinets and looking into the hungry dark eyes of Edward, we stared at each other for a couple of seconds, my heart was beating so fast I wondered how he couldn't hear it, then he leaned in looking at my lips, he got closer, and closer until my breath mingled with his and I could almost taste him, then when our lips where almost touching he turned his head away and kissed my cheek tenderly instead, then he leaned in till his lips where right next to my ear .

"Next time I won't miss" he whispered softy then kissed me behind my ear and disappeared while I tried to catch my breath and return back to reality, then I ran to the bathroom after excusing myself and forgetting all about the candy.

What the hell was that? How can he affect me like that! I thought I could handle him better! I guess my feelings for him are stronger than I thought! This wasn't good, I would have let him have me right against that cupboard if he hadn't stopped, this can't be happening, how the hell am I going to face him now! Damn it! I did t know how long a stayed there pacing and asking myself all these questions, I guess I was so out if it that I didn't hear the door open till Edward was standing right in front of me holding a candy bar and dangling it in front of me while smiling warmly at me, damn that smile it's going to be the end of me!

"Come out and cook for me woman! I have your candy and now that I know your secret I can use it to my advantage, if you feed me I'll tell you where I hid the rest of it" he said teasingly while smirking.

"I am NOT going to cook for you! And don't mess with my candy, I'm going to cook for myself and let you watch me eat, that'll teach you" I said with as much of a straight face as I could muster but at his innocent puppy dog eyes and that look he gave me I cracked and smiled while shoving him out of my way with a ' FINE' and going back to the kitchen chuckling at his adorableness, he was laughing and following right behind me.

As I prepared dinner we talked about anything and everything, from childhood stories to college pranks, we didn't have a moment of awkwardness, it was really fun, and for some reason it felt right, I just put my thoughts on hold and enjoyed having him here, it was a nice feeling that I didn't understand. Just before he left he kissed me goodnight and told me that Emily won't make it tomorrow but we should go out anyway and have some fun, I said sure why not and smiled excitedly at him, I was looking forward to it more than I care to admit.

The next day i was dressed in a green one shoulder knee long dress, my hair was doe in ling curls and i had some blush and mascara on, I was just putting on my earrings when Edward knocked on my door to pick me up, i was a little worried that he would stand me up but then i convinced myself that we weren't on a date, we were just two friends going out to have some fun, and he had no reason to not show up, but I was still skeptical until I heard that knock on my door and opened it to see a smoking hot smiling Edward wearing a grey suite and a baby blue shirt with cufflinks and holding a Bouché of lilies up to me.

"I saw these and thought of you, pure and beautiful" he said softly.

He can't say things like that to me! Doesn't he know I'm trying hard enough to stay away from him! I melted right there and I could feel my traitorous blush flooding my whole face, I had to snap out of this, so I took a couple of breaths, looked up at him And said a gentle thank you and watched him smile triumphantly at my reaction. He leaned in kissed my blushing cheeks and led us out to his range rover, I told him before how much I loved this car but didn't think he'd remember, he wasn't playing fair, this was going to be harder than I thought, this man knows how to make a heart flutter and I was defenseless to his powers.

After we reached the restaurant and we were seated I looked around and saw how romantic it all was, beautiful antique chandeliers hanging from the ceiling ,candles lit on every table to make it just cozy enough, classical music playing in the background, and with the intimate setting it was a recipe for falling in love when you least expect it , and having a gorgeous man sitting right in front of you looking at you like the only woman in the world doesn't really help matters , this was too close to home. So I just looked away from his penetrating eyes and tried to get my emotions in check.

"Bella, can you ever forgive me?" he asked gently.

I looked up at him trying to tell where that came from but his face gave nothing away.

" I've forgiven you a long time ago Edward, and I believe that you have changed, so that was something positive that came out of the whole fiasco but you need to move on, I have" I replied looking into his eyes .

He smiled then and reached for my hand on the table.

"I have never met a woman with a bigger heart than yours, you seriously bring everyone around you to shame, I admire that in you, and I'm trying to move on but I had to make sure that you forgave me, because without your forgiveness moving one is meaningless, whatever I do these days I do it thinking of you and for you". He hesitated for a couple of seconds. "I need to tell you something but not now, after we have dinner okay?" he said smiling and kissing my hand.

Six months ago I would have laughed in his face for what he said, but now I truly believe him.

" thank you, that was more than I deserve, your changing more and more every day , I'm proud to be your friend, and Edward you can tell me whatever you want" I replied smiling and giving his hand a squeeze.

We spent the rest of the night just enjoying each other's company, dinner was delicious, Edward was amazing, attentive, and I hate to admit it but he was so loving that the blush never left my face. At the end he stood up and held his hand out for me to take, we walked a couple of steps to the dance floor , he held my waist and I put my hands around his neck while we stared at each other drinking in the notes of the music around us, his scent enveloped me and I closed my eyes and laid my head over his heart trying to savor it all, I felt his feather like kisses on my shoulder and neck , then his lips traveled up to my cheek and the corner of my mouth, that's when I stiffened but his lips never stopped, I felt them near my ear and then he whispered softly " Remember the girl I was talking about sweetheart?" , at that I opened my eyes and looked up into his eyes to find him looking vulnerably at me , then he leaned in until his lips where inches away from mine and whispered the words that turned my world upside down" it's you" , and then our lips where dancing together a dance of passion, longing and need .

**A/N:**

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	16. Chapter 15

**Hello hello ..**

**How's your weekend so far? Looking forward to the Oscars?**

**Without further ado..**

**Disclaimer: like always …**

**Chapter 15 **

This was the moment of truth; what I did next would make it or break it, that entire time he was talking about me? ME? This wasn't what I was expecting; who was I kidding I can't do this! This was Edward for god's sake, he can never love one woman, and least of all me, and I wasn't going to risk getting hurt over this, yes he's changed but how much? And how can I trust him after all that's happened? He sounded sincere but what if it's just an act, no he can't be that good! But what if he is? I'm too tired of this second guessing and over thinking and drama, in the end it's just easier not to get involved with Edward.

Our foreheads where pressed up against one another and we were just breathing each other in, i couldn't open my eyes from fear of what I'll find looking back at me, I needed time to think without Edward's nearness being a distraction, I needed time to think things over, and i couldn't do it here, I had to get home.

"I'm just going to the ladies room, can you please take me home when I come back, or I can go alone I mean it's okay you d—" I babbled but was cut off with Edward's hand on my cheek.

"Breathe Bella, I'll take you home when you're done" he whispered sadly, I guess he knew what was coming.

I splashed some water on my face and just stared at me self, what am I going to tell Edward? What am I going to do? Why didn't I see this coming? Because I never imagined Edward would feel like that , _NOT _Edward of all people, or maybe I just didn't want to believe it was Possible, I can't think about this anymore, I suddenly had an excruciating headache, I needed to lay down and close my eyes and drift away to a more perfect world, but right Edward was waiting and he's going to take me home, this was one ride I would have avoided at any cost if i had another option, but alas I needed to face Edward again, and with a heavy heart i got out of the ladies room and walked towards Edward who was waiting for me by the doors and frowning at the floor.

He opened the car door for me like before and helped me in, we drove in silence each of us lost in their own world, when we reached my building Edward turned off the car and we just sat there, I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what he really wanted.

"I know I blindsided you with my confession but I need you to know that it wasn't just a spur of the moment thought, I have been having strong feelings for you for a long time now, I can't be friends with you any more , I need more, I need all of you; you heart , your body and most of all your spirit, i need to claim you as mine, and i need to be yours, I can't pretend anymore, please think about it, I know you have feelings for me or at least you used to, but please give me a chance to be with you, give _US_ a chance." He said gently then got out of the car and came around to open my door.

I didn't say anything till we reached the my door, I unlocked it and turned my head to tell him goodnight but he was closer than I expected, he leaned in with fire in his eyes, traced my jaw line with his nose while his hand drew circles in my waist, then he started kissing me everywhere gently , my forehead, my eyes , my cheeks, my Nose and lastly my waiting lips, this was a softer kiss than the one in the restaurant, like he was trying to savor my taste, to memorize me like this, I could feel moisture seeping from my eyes, then he started kissing my tears away, taking care of me like I was a fragile doll, it was too much and I was too weak.

" don't cry sweetheart, please don't cry, I'm sorry , I'm so sorry, I wish I was normal from the start, but please don't give up on me now, please" he whispered shakily and all I could do was cry some more. when I was calm enough I stood up on my tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek , looked deep into his sad pleading eyes and whispered a' _goodnight_' then went inside the apartment and locked the door behind me, I reached my bed trying to hold myself together but I blew up when I found Doggy looking up at me concerned from his spot on the bed, I let all the heartache out in gut wrenching sobs, after a while I just passed out from exhaustion, it was the only way that my mind stopped working and I had peace.

The next morning I stayed in bed thinking and going over every option, in the end there was only one way to go, I was going to let Edward down easily, I know it was harsh of me to do so, but it was time I put myself first, I might regret this later but for now I needed peace of mind and to move on from this, and sadly it was the easiest way out.

I took a shower , ate a quick meal and went down to the library, by six I was going out of mind, I couldn't do this, I can't face Edward, I needed to avoid him On all costs, no matter how much i needed to see him, but how was I going to that is the question, because right this moment a determined Edward was walking towards the library, and I had no time to escape, so I just picked up the phone quickly and started talking to no one and looking busy, he walked inside and waited right next to me until I couldn't fake any longer, so I just hung up the phone and turned my head to look up at him trying not to show my hesitance, he was looking at me with a smirk.

"Good phone call?" he said still smirking, and confusing me a little.

"Ya i-i .. I had a shipment coming in, ya that was it, I was just checking up on the delivery time" I stammered as an excuse.

He chuckled "aha ya that must have been quite important, anyway listen can you come out for coffee with me?"

"NO" I said quickly without thinking but he didn't seem to be phased by my outburst, like he was expecting it. " I mean I can't leave the library, Leah left to go back to college and I have to stay here, but you have fun" I said quickly trying to escape him as fast as I could.

"okay well maybe another time then, but Bella we really need to talk," he said looking a little wounded, then he walked to the door and just before stepping outside he turned around and said " oh and you might want to check your phone" he said smiling sadly then left without another word, when I picked up the phone it was disconnected, just my luck!

After that encounter I didn't see Edward for four days, he was giving me space of that I was sure, but he wasn't letting go, he still texted me a couple of times asking me how I was and how were things, trying to get a feel of my mood, but I never replied, I didn't know what to say, it wasn't what I wanted to do but I was in a bad place, I wanted to be with Edward but my fears were greater than me needs, I needed to tell him my decision, I owed him that much even if I break both our hearts doing it, my mind was made up and I needed to tell him sooner than later.

It was the weekend and my time was running out, I texted Edward a couple of minutes earlier asking him if he could meet me for coffee later, he said he would and we decided to meet an hour later at the café a couple of blocks away, with every step I took my heart grew heavier, when I walked in I spotted Edward right away, sitting at the table in the corner and looking worried, which did nothing to ease my anxiousness, I just had to do this and get it over with, I walked to the table keeping eye contact with him till I sat down, he has never looked more vulnerable and it was my fault.

"Hey" I said gently, and his reply was a simple nod.

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring your texts lately, I didn't mean to, it's just …, i-i didn't know what to say." I said shakily

"And now you do?" he replied somberly.

"Not really, but I know I need to talk to you even if it's going to hurt us both" I whispered looking down at my fingers.

"Don't do this Bella" he said shakily, but I couldn't look at him.

"I need to do this, even though I know Its not the right choice, I just can't risk getting hurt again, I was broken into pieces, and I can't live through that again, I just can't go into something with you knowing what you're capable of doing, you shattered me without even being with me, can you imagine how it will be like if we were together Edward?, because I can and I never want to go through something even close to that again, I know that you've changed and I promise that I've forgiven you ,but I can't be with you, I just can't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry " I said brokenly while tears fell freely from my anguished eyes.

It was quiet for a couple of seconds and then I felt the table shift and Edwards hands around me, but I couldn't have that, I couldn't have him touching me and being sweet to me, it was too much, I needed him to be cruel to me, I could handle that, I was used to it , but this was too much , I didn't deserve it, I tried to push his hands away but he wouldn't budge , he held me in a vice grip and wouldn't let me go, even after all I just said he was putting me before himself, how can i still doubt his motives, that's how much of a bad untrusting person I turned into these days.

"Look at me sweetheart" he whispered after my sobs subsided, and I did, I raised my head and looked at his sorrow filled eyes.

"You're right, and this is the right decision, please stop crying, I know I hurt you so much more than I can admit, but please _please_ don't take this away before It even happens, please give us a chance, we could be amazing together, you just have to have a little faith, don't let the past stop you from living your future, just don't doom us before there even is an us, even if I have to wait a million years I will, but don't say no, I'd take a maybe but please not a never." He said gently while caressing my face, tears where glistening in his eyes, but my own tears where streaming down my face non-stop that I couldn't be sure, I could give him this, at least I could offer him a chance in the future, and maybe time will change my mind, maybe this way I won't have any regrets and I might not be ruining what could have been something good.

I laid my forehead against his and breathed him in for a couple of seconds, and then I whispered the words that might or might not have saved me.

"Okay, maybe"

**A/N:**

**I'm beginning to think I'm writing to myself, I miss the reviews..**

**Share your thoughts people, even if you want me to stop writing..**

**Reviews, so I'll continue posting… **

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**Thank you to all who made this story a favorite **

**Enjoy the rest of the weekend,,**

**FFN**

**XX**


	17. Chapter 16

**Hello lovely readers, **

**Hope you're all doing great..**

**This a longer chapter than normal,, just saying =))**

**Disclaimer: original plot, borrowed characters...**

**Chapter 16**

I slept like a baby last night, it was the best night's sleep that I've had for a long time, who knew that the conversation which I was petrified of having would have gone like it did, and best of all was how I was feeling after it, serene and happy, nothing has happened really and I have no idea why I am feeling this way but I am, I don't know what was the next step for me and Edward but whatever it was I'm ready for it .

Alice has just left after spending two hours just hanging around the library with me, I've missed her since both of us have been too busy to do our normal routine, she invited all of us to her house the next day and I told her to invite Edward without thinking, so I wasn't ready for the interrogation that comment got me in, in the end I spent most of the time just explaining everything that happened with us , Alice had really weird reactions but in the end she still said that it was my decision and that she'll support me no matter what, which I loved her even more for .

I locked the library early today to take Doggy for a walk, just when we reached outside and locked the door I heard someone calling my name, I turned around and it was Edward coming towards me from across the street with a nervous smile on his angelic face.

"Hey, are you going to take Doggy for a walk?"

"Yeah, he's been going out of his mind today and its driving me crazy" I said chuckling trying to lease his nerves.

"Can I join you?" he asked looking ready for rejection but that wasn't going to happen so I just smiled big and nodded.

We walked in silence until we reached the park; Doggy ran away and left us in an awkward silence, after a couple of minutes of watching Doggy run around Edward turned his head towards me and smiled.

"Hi."

"Hi." I said smiling at his cheekiness.

"So Alice invited me to a get together at her house tomorrow, I wasn't sure I should go but then she said that you asked her to invite me, thank you and I know it's hard for you to accept me in your life and between your friends, I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to include me in anything you don't want to, I swear I won't mind, I just want to spend more time with you whenever that may be." He said while still on edge.

"I want us to be honest with each other from the start so Edward I told Alice to invite you because I thought it might be easier this way, there won't be any awkwardness and we'll definitely have fun, I was actually thinking of myself and what's easier for me so you don't have to worry about it, I want you to be there, I'm actually looking forward to it, I'm a little nervous I have to admit but I'm still feeling really happy so I hope you'll be there" I said gently looking into his eyes trying to show how honest I was.

he looked lost in thought while searching my eyes and looking deep into my soul "thank you for being honest, I'm glad you're not hiding your feelings from me, and I'll do the same, I was actually pretty nervous myself, but after what you just said I'm not nervous anymore, let's just enjoy our time and see what happens okay? " he said smiling gently.

"Yes I agree let's just have fun." I said smiling

we spent the rest of the afternoon just playing around the park with the kids, it was pretty fun, I didn't really know how to play baseball but this afternoon I was on fire after Edward explained it to me, and in the end we ended up in the same team and we won, the guys we were playing with were so happy that they invited us for drinks after we won, even the ones who lost, and we went out that night with the whole team and we had an amazing time, we laughed we joked we made fun of each other and in the end we enjoyed each other's company, and all the while Edward was sitting right next to me and each time I would look at him I would find him staring at me with adoration in his eyes and that beautiful smile gracing his lips.

The next day I was running late, I had a customer come in the library asking for a non-existent book near my closing time, and after two hours of searching depending on events in the book that he was recalling poorly which only showed he doesn't even know what he was talking about ,and him trying to touch me constantly and me trying to be civil and not introduce his face to the bottom of my foot he remembered the actual name of the book which was "The girl with the dragon tattoo", how stupid was this guy!, it was pretty obvious he was just messing around because in the end he asked for my number in case he didn't _understand _ the book and wanted me to go out with him and explain things and "_ we'll see where we'll go from there_" he'd said! I don't know how I kept my calm but I told him very sternly to get the hell out of my library and to never come back again to my library or I will be forced to let my very protective dog teach him a lesson, and just at that moment Doggy started barking which made the idiot flee away like a scared little boy. I arrived an hour late to Alice's and found them sitting at the table and waiting for me to get there so we can eat.

I was sitting next to Edward so when. I started explaining why I was late and giving them descriptions of how stupid that guy was and what he described as things happened in the story when he wouldn't remember the title, everyone was laughing their asses of and I sensed the shift in Edwards mood throughout the story, I didn't know what I had mentioned that made him mad, I started going over everything I said again and again but I came up empty, and I didn't know what to do so I just pretended like he wasn't there and enjoyed the rest of dinner with everyone, Angela showed us photos of baby Rick, he was truly gorgeous, a heart breaker for sure, Ben was so proud of his baby boy he even bought similar clothes to both of them, it was adorable.

A couple of hours later I was standing in the kitchen enjoying the view of the city and having a quiet moment to myself when I heard someone come in.

" come here honey " Jasper said in a soothing voice And held his hands open for me, I didn't hesitate to throw myself in that hug, I guess as always Jasper felt my need for one, I still don't understand how he does it.

" don't stress about it, he's just feeling sorry for himself, he wants to protect you, give him time to understand that you don't need any help, that you can take care of yourself, remember when we first met how Emmet and I would get?, he's still new just have patience" he said softly .

He was right, I just nodded and we exchanged a couple of more words as he held me but nothing serious, after a while Alice came in and asked if I was okay, she knew I loved jasper's hugs, she can never resist losing herself in one either so she understood, but she could see I wasn't feeling like myself tonight.

"I'm fine, I was just convincing jasper to leave you for me, so I can enjoy his amazing hugs all the time, but he won't budge! He says he loves you and all that crap! I WANT JASPER" I said trying to look mad.

"If you want me that much baby you can have me, you could share me both if you want, there's a lot of me to go around". He said cockily

Alice winked at me quickly before Jasper could notice and we were in action. Then she looked at him like he just said the most brilliant thing ever.

"Oh honey I thought you'd never agree to that, I knew I loved you for a reason, this is going to be amazing" she said and walked towards us swaying her hips until jasper was sandwiched between us, and then it was my turn.

"Hmmm, I've been dreaming about this moment for so long" I whispered seductively then smoothed my hand across his stomach and chest.

" damn I'm so horny right now, let's get everyone to leave so we can have some real fun" Alice groaned while licking jasper's neck and nibbling on his ear, my hand slipped south and I could see jasper starting to sweat, he was more than turned on, then just before my hand reached his zipper he shook us off of him and stammered out an excuse before he ran away from the kitchen, and we burst out laughing, I turned my head after drying my tears and caught Edward laughing at the far corner, I hadn't seen him come in and he must have been here for long because we were standing next to the door the whole time. I smiled faintly at him and left the kitchen to join everyone.

At last we decided to watch a movie, everyone sat paired up together and only a one-seat sofa was left for me And Edward, I tried to keep some distance between us when we sat, it was awkward and I didn't know how to act but I still pretended he wasn't sitting next to me and just watched the movie. When we were half through I had my hands around myself trying to stay warm because it was chilly, then I felt Edward's hands around me pulling back to sit against his chest with his arms around me, I didn't resist and kept quiet, then I heard him sigh and felt his head on my shoulder, it was an intimate embrace and I enjoyed him surrounding me, it made me feel safe.

"I'm sorry" he whispered after a while and I was confused as to why he was apologizing.

"It's okay" I murmured.

"No its not, I didn't mean to be an ass, I was just over thinking things and worrying about you, I know I have no right to, yet I don't care, your safety comes first to me, but I'm sorry I reacted like that, I'm working on it. " he said softly.

"next time talk to me, and you should know I can take care of myself, I don't need you to save me, just be there for me and that is more than enough." I said quietly, he hummed and nuzzled my neck, and that was how we sat for the rest of the movie, never losing touch or moving out of each other's embrace.

The next couple of days went by without an incident, Edward's presence was scarce as he was too busy in the hospital, but his texts never stopped, we weren't a couple and we weren't just friends, but the question that was still floating around was what are we? On that note I arrived at the hospital for my routine blood test, I was feeling a little faint lately and Carlisle suggested I come in for a test, when I reached to the reception desk the nurse immediately recognized me and paged .

Two hours later I was done and ready to go home after all the poking and probing I'd gone through, Esme was just arriving to see Carlisle so I stayed for a while catching up with her, I loved that woman like a mother and she always treated me like she treated Alice or even better, after we were done I said my goodbyes and was on my way out when a scene stopped me in my tracks, A girl was squeezed in a tiny space between a chair which Edward was sitting on and the desk in front of him and almost sitting in his lap while her boobs where screaming to be set free from the tight nurse outfit that she was wearing to try and get his attention while he was obviously not welcoming her advances and looking at his lap with a frown, they hadn't see me yet and at that moment my phone pinged telling me I had a text.

**- Can you help me get away with murder? - EC  
><strong>  
>I laughed quietly, I guess he had his fill with that skank, that was my queue .<p>

**- I can do better than that ;), just go with it- BS**

I walked in and swayed my hips, the stupid bitch's head shot up and when she saw me her eyes turned into slits, while I smirked and kept eye contact then turned my mischievous eyes to Edward.

"Hello sweetheart, did I keep you waiting for long? I ran into Esme and we got to talking. But don't worry I'll make it up to you hmm?" I purred while pushing her away and sitting in Edward's lap while Edward looked up at me in shock at first and then his eyes softened and he looked at me like he's just found a long lost treasure, then the smirk was back.

"I'll hold you to that beautiful, now start by greeting me properly" he said gently while running his finger down the opening of my shirt and brushing his nose against mine, completely ignoring the stupid seething whore who was still waiting on the floor.

And I did, I looked deep into his eyes and licked his upper lip at first, thin nibbled on his bottom lip, he couldn't wait any longer as at the next moment he captured my lips with his and our lips were battling for dominance, in the end he won, he was controlling the kiss, every fiber of my being was on fire while we made out like teenagers, my hands were deep in his bronze locks while his were holding my face, our moans where getting louder, our tongues where tasting each other, and we were lost to the world, he tasted like nothing I've ever experienced, while his sent was strong and intoxicating, his taste was pure poison, and I couldn't stop, we were grinding against each other and I couldn't get close enough, I was enjoying this too much and I didn't even want to stop and Edward's groans weren't helping , but after making out for I don't know how long, the outer world started to seep in, that bitch was trying to get our attention and she was getting on my nerves, so I broke the kiss but not before Edward pecked my lips once, twice, and a third time which made me giggle while he smirked his signature smirk. I turned my head after a couple of seconds and looked at the intruder in fake surprise.

"oh I'm sorry, I just missed my Eddie so much that I didn't see you when I came in, we'll just get out of your way so you can clean the floors, oh and be a dear and get me a cup of coffee when you're done" I said in fake cheeriness, Edward was trying to hold in his laughter but from my position in his lap I could feel his vibrations.

"Bella honey, she's a doctor here." Edward said in a loud whisper

"Oh I'm sorry she looked like the cleaning lady they were all talking about, why is she dressed like that?" I whispered back loud enough for her to hear, I could feel see her in my periphery turning red with rage.

"Why don't you have some respect and get of MY Eddie, he doesn't want you, you're no even pretty and he wants me, I'm his type not you" she whined annoyingly.

before I could jump up and smack her Edward held me to him "how about you leave before I fucking file a complaint against you for sexual harassment, You will never be my type, I don't know how many times I have to tell you to leave me the fuck alone, you fucking disgust me, go offer your cheap plastic body to someone else, and this is where Bella will always belong, not YOU or anyone else, Save what dignity you have left and fucking get out, and stay away from me and anyone in my family or else my beautiful girlfriend's hand's will be the least of your troubles, and never fucking call me Eddie again, only Bella can call me that" he said in a menacingly low voice, while his eyes were shooting bullets of hatred towards her, which was hot as hell, I was so turned on right now I could have begged him to fucking take me right then and there, but I held myself in check. The skank was visibly shaking and turned around and ran out of the room.

I moved to get up from Edward's lap but he wouldn't let me.

"No, you're not leaving, I'm not letting you go for a while now, I've fucking missed you more than I can admit, just stay in my arms for a while, I feel empty when your away" he said gently. I laid my head on his shoulder and my free hand played with the open neck if his uniform.

"Thank you for that, I owe you one" he said softly shaking a little with laughter, and before I knew it we where both laughing hysterically and tears were streaming down our faces. When we calmed down I was back to straddling Edward's lap with my head on his chest and he had one of his arms rubbing soothing circles on my back and the other one playing with my hair.

"You didn't have to say that about me, and I would have kicked her ass real good if you hadn'nt stepped in, it would have been fucking epic, i need to give a good ass kicking and maybe they would leave you alone then, you poor baby everyone wants a piece of you" I murmured teasingly.

"That was fucking sexy, I would pay to see it again, next time I won't stop you, I'm going to have some good times dreaming about it tonight" he teased back and I hit his arm while blushing deep red, he stroked my cheek gently.

"and yes I needed to say that, she and everyone alive needs to know that you are the only one that I will ever want, you're it for me, I belong to you and only you, even if you don't belong to me yet, and I will wait forever till there's a chance for you to be mine just as I am yours and will always be yours, don't say anything just..Just let me enjoy you being in my arms before the emptiness of being without you comes back" he whispered gently with emotion, his words were powerful and I could feel my walls melting one by one, till they were almost gone.

"im ready, why dont you ask me out when im lucid ?" I mumbled gently but I couldn't hear his reply as my eyes where dropping from the mixture if my tiredness and his intoxicating smell, and just before I fell asleep I heard him groan softly" fuck you smell so fucking good" I smiled involuntarily then I was lost in the land of dreams.

**A/N:**

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**A special Thank you to my devoted reader and reviewer snowtiger1, who never misses a chapter or a review…=)))**

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**xx**


	18. Chapter 17

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**How are you guys? Another chapter here for you =))**

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**Disclaimer : just the plot is mine …**

**Ch17**

I woke up to a familiar scent, breathing it in to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I snuggled deeper to where the smell was coming from and wiggled myself to get closer to the source, that's when I felt movement underneath me and my eyes popped open in shock, I was laying completely on top of a sleeping Edward, every inch of me was glued to him, and I was rubbing his morning wood with my movements, and just then he started groaning.

"ugh, fuuck, so ugh good, fuck Bella" yes I was still on top of him an our hips were rotating against each other while all that moaning and groaning was happening, he felt really good underneath me, calling my name while having a sex dream was so HOT, I took advantage of his sleeping state and started kissing his neck where my head lay earlier, and sucking on it, damn he tasted good! And if I continue moving on top of him I might never stop before I beg him to fuck my brains out, ughhh I need to stop this but my lips and body won't listen, I kept on grinding against his sleeping oblivious-but dreaming-of-me body, while his groans never stopped and my kissing just turned to real sucking and licking when I reached his collar bone. Suddenly his pager went off and he started waking up, so I did what any mature young woman would do; I laid my head back on his shoulder and pretended to be asleep just before he was fully awake.

The large intake of breath was proof that he was awake and just as surprised about our position as I was, my senses were on alert now and I felt him nuzzle my neck and his nose went into my hair and he inhaled me in. Edward didn't say anything or do anything for a while so I thought he might have gone back to sleep, but then his hands started moving along my body until they reached my ass, then he squeezed my cheeks which increased the friction of our bodies and we groaned simultaneously, which made him freeze and take his hands away immediately, it was quiet for a while until he was sure I wasn't awake then he breathed out like he was holding his breath for a while.

" I can't keep doing this, fuck you're so fucking sexy that a few more seconds I might have jizzed my pants like a teenager! I'm such a pervert, thank god you didn't wake up, fuck I need you so fucking bad, I have to go or I might fuck you while you're still sleeping." He whispered so low that I wouldn't have heard him if I was actually sleeping, then he lifted me Up and moved from under me then laid me back gently on the chair, a couple of seconds later i felt his lips on my cheek and they lingered, then he moved to my ear and whispered.

" I would have loved to spend my life with you in my arms beautiful, that was the best night's sleep I've ever had, I have to work now but I'll call you later, I lo— " then he stopped abruptly and I felt him move away then heard the door close behind him.

The touch of his lips lingered for a couple of more seconds on my Cheek and I lost my self in the feeling, but after a while a thought occurred to me, why didn't he finish his sentence? That was strange, but I didn't really care, his words made me tingle everywhere, that man can fucking talk! And his voice damn I had no chance what so ever to resist him, I'm in for a wild ride of that I was sure.

After I got back home and took a shower I took Doggy for an early walk, I checked my phone while we were in the park and apparently I was deaf because I had a million texts and about just as much missed calls, and all of them where from Charlie, I guess he arrived late last night and I wasn't home so he got worried, I called him quickly and explained all about staying in the hospital leaving the minor detail of in who's arms I slept, dad always worried that I might be kidnapped by a serial killer or harmed in some way as I live alone and he isn't near to protect me so im guessing last night wasn't exactly easy on him, but I invited him over to dinner with sue so that might have placated him for now, my father was head over heels in love with that woman that at the mention of her name he would forget anything that was happening and drift away to dream land, and it was the same for Sue, they were a match made in heaven.

At six I was home making dinner when dad and Sue arrived, Dad and Doggy sat in the living room Watching the game While Sue helped in the kitchen, just when I was finishing up the salad there was a knock on the door , I yelled for dad to get it, a couple of seconds later there was some kind of commotion in the living room, so I went to check it out, there in all his doctor's glory was Edward Cullen sitting next to Sue on the coUch with Doggy in his lap and he was talking to dad about the game that was on while looking pretty worn out.

"Hey" I greeted him when I entered the living room; he looked up at me smiling tiredly.

"hey Bella, I just came here to say hi before I went home, I'm not intruding on your family time and I'm pretty exhausted really, but your dad and sue won't let me go" he explained without much spirit, he looked like he might drop to the floor at any second and I wasn't having that.

"When was the last time you ate honey?" I asked gently, and at his confused look I laughed and continued.

"Come on, go wash up dinner is almost ready, I won't let you go home like that." I grabbed his hand and pulled him of his seat and steered him to the bathroom while Sue was already in the kitchen putting the final touches and dad was back to watching the game.

All through dinner dad and Edward talked non-stop, and I could see in my dad's eyes his acceptance to Edward, he was really enjoying his time. Edward was more upbeat and really invested in conversation after he freshened up, me and Sue would say a word to them here and there but we mostly kept to ourselves, she was telling me about her daughter getting engaged and how her fiancé popped the question, obviously he really loved her and Sue was ecstatic, then we talked about how happy everyone was about her and dad getting together, I told her there wasn't a better woman in the world better suited for daddy as much as she was, and how happy I was for them, that's when we noticed that it was quiet across the table, when I looked up dad was smiling fondly at me and whispered a " _thank you_" while Edward looked at me with adoration making me blush and turn my face back around to sue, after that things went without any incident.

While we were eating desert a while later I noticed that Edward hadn't come back after answering his phone, I excused myself and went looking for him, what I saw made my heart melt, Edward was sprawled across the sofa his hands going around his stomach and an adorable frown on his sleeping face, I just stood there and admired his beauty for a while, he looked like an innocent child just missing sucking on his thumb, I took my throw that lay across the sofa and covered him with it , just when it reached his nose he snuggled deeper into to it and inhaled breathing it in, and I couldn't resist leaning in and kissing his forehead while ruffling his hair a little, when I looked back at him the frown was gone and his face looked peaceful without a care in the world, I turned around with a smile on my face to find dad leaning against the wall watching me curiously, and from the look in his eyes he saw right through me, can't hide now.

"I guess he fell asleep huh" He said after a couple of seconds.

"ya he was pretty tired" I said cautiously.

After a couple of seconds he spoke again.

"Be careful baby, he seems like the player type" he said gently.

"He used to be, but he's changed and he really cares about me which I still can't wrap my head around. I'm going to give him a chance daddy; I can't deny my feelings anymore, just trust me okay?" I said quietly while giving him a hug, he grunted but said nothing more, in my periphery I could have sworn that I saw Edward smile but when I turned my head his face was back to normal. After a couple of seconds we went back to the kitchen where Sue was waiting.

A couple of hours later dad and sue left but not before announcing that they were moving in together, dad asked to be transferred here and they accepted his request at the station after a lot of convincing, they were moving in to an apartment near the bakery, and they where more than happy about it, and I was thrilled, I get my daddy back finally, I can see him whenever I need to and he's happy with sue, so what more can a girl ask for!

After they left I started cleaning up, I lost track of time and when I finished another hour had passed while Edward was still sleeping, I didn't have it in me to wake him up at this hour, so i just did my nightly routine and locked up, Snuggled with Doggy who was already waiting in bed and went into a dreamful sleep.

At seven the next morning I was awake, I got out of bed, took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and went to the kitchen to make breakfast before I woke up Edward, who was still in deep sleep from the looks of him when I passed by the living room.

After making breakfast for both of us I went to wake up Edward, which was weird because I had no idea how to, so I started calling his name Gently a couple of time but it was like talking to the dead, he didn't even twitch, I got closer and nudged him gently with my finger while Calling his name again, and he still didn't move but he did moan, so I laid my hand on his shoulder and nudged him a few times and that's when I felt how hot he felt, not sexy hot but burning up hot, I felt his forehead and it was scorching, and he kept on groaning while I tried to feel his face too, I started getting worried but after a couple of seconds I remembered that there was a flu going around the hospital which Carlisle told me about when I was there last, and Edward must have caught it, poor guy he was already working his ass off and now he has the flu, well I guess he was here for a reason, I can take care of him this way.

I let him sleep for a couple of More hours while checking up on him every fifteen minutes, but I had to wake him up to give him flu pills and make him eat something, when I walked in i saw his upper body lying on the floor while his lower body was tangled up in the blanket on the sofa, I chuckled to myself but he must have heard me because his head shot up to look at me and he groaned from the sudden movement and laid his head back down, I walked to where he was and crouched next to him while putting my hand on his forehead to see if he was still burning up.

"Fuck! I'm sick aren't I, I hate being sick, oh fuck why me" he whined with his nose stuffed up and I laughed at how adorable it sounded.

"Oh don't be such a baby, everyone gets sick and it's just the flu" I said teasingly

"Not every one, I don't get sick, I should sue the hospital, and everyone working there, those fuckers made me sick, this can't be happening, fuck!" he grumbled and went into a fit of coughing .

"Will you stop whining and let me take care of you?" I said after he calmed down

"Really? You're going to take care of me? You're going to be my sexy nurse "he said smirking

"Hmm, I might give you a sponge bath if you're a good boy, can you be a good boy doctor Cullen?" I said in a low voice sexy voice full of innuendo and Edward was so shocked that he started coughing again and I smiled triumphantly.

"Get up you horny teenager, you can't even breath without coughing, come on I made you a sandwich you have to eat before I can give you your medication" I said and helped him up and back on the couch.

"Fuck you'd make a HOT nurse" he said when he was settled in.

"Shut up and eat" I said laughing, and he chuckled and started eating.

After eating the sandwich and taking his pills Edward went back to sleep but not before thanking me and saying how fucking good I felt while rubbing his back and playing with his hair, yes apparently he was a horny sick person, I went back to work with a smile on my face.

A while later I was just finishing up with a customer when I heard Edward yell my name in agony, I finished in a hurry locked up and went running upstairs to find Edward sitting upside down on the coach and looking at the rooftop, when I walked in he straightened up and looked at me with an adorable pout and flushed cheeks.

"I'm so fucking bored and my nose won't stop running and I won't stop coughing, you're not a very good nurse you know" he grumbled childishly.

"Well I'm sorry I wasn't doing my job well, I'm all yours now, okay?" I said smiling sweetly at him.

"Fine but you have a lot to make up for" he said trying to look annoyed while folding his hands across his chest, but I could see the smile he was trying to hide.

I made him some soup , gave him his pills again, then I suggested watching a movie so I went to my room and got " The body guard " I've been meaning to watch it for a while and I told Edward I didn't have another one so he won't have a choice but to watch it, I loved that movie, so we sat on the couch with the blanket over us after Edward finished grumbling over and over again about watching a chick movie , and how he was a fucking grown ass man and he should watch people killing each other and fucking awesome cars speeding everywhere and how this wasn't fucking right, and all the while I was trying to hide my laugh but failing miserably which made him grumble more but In the end he just gave in and we started the movie.

After half an hour passed through the movie Edward's head started lulling and his eyes started dropping, about ten minutes later he laid his body on the sofa and his head on my lap then grabbed my hand and put it in his hair, when I didn't move my fingers he whined and moved them for me, I smiled to myself and started playing with his hair like he wanted me to , he purred and snuggled deeper into my lap while trying to keep his eyes open, but a couple of seconds later he lost the battle and closed his eyes going to sleep.

I watched the movie like it was the first time I've ever watched it, throughout the movie Edward went in and out of sleep while grumbling a few times, but I don't think he was actually lucid because he would say really weird things like "_fucking pansy_"," _I don't wanna_"," _hmm ya like that_ ", then he mumbled something like " _fuck I love you_ " but I wasn't sure, and all the while I never stopped playing with his hair, it was so soft that I couldn't stop.

After the movie ended I didn't move from my place for a while, I just turned off the screen and sat in the dark enjoying the peace and quiet, and let's face it I was enjoying Edward's head laying on my lap, but after about an hour I had to get up to go to the bathroom and clean up the kitchen. I slowly moved from under Edward and laid his head back on the couch pillow, he started squirming and looking for something then he inhaled in the blanket and settled back down and went back to sleep.

About fifteen minutes later I heard shuffling of feet and looked up to see a crumbled looking Edward walking in, then he walked towards me grabbed my hand, and walked us back to the sofa he laid down on his back then tugged on my hand till I was laying on top of him, then he sighed and put his arms around me while breathing me in.

"Don't leave" he whispered after a couple of seconds.

I didn't …

**A/N:**

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**XX**


	19. Chapter 18

**I'm so sorry for the late update *hides behind hands*, but this is a long chapter so lets hope I made up for being late =)**

**Here you go lovely readers..**

**Hope you're having a great weekend =)))**

**Ch 18  
><strong>  
>Two things seemed strange when I woke up today, one was the mouthwatering smell, two was the smiling man sitting in front of me on the coffee table trying to wake me up holding a feather and tickling my nose and face, which was the original reason that made me wake up from a very steamy dream, starring handcuffs, a bed , and a very naked Edward, the things I did to him in that dream where so Hot, just the sounds he made in that dream were making me wet. I fucking hope I didn't make any sounds that Edward heard, that would be pretty embarrassing and I would never hear the end of it. But back to the present and the beautiful Edward who was still holding that feather, his other hand was holding his telephone, and he put it on the table when he saw me looking at it.<p>

"Good morning sleepy head" he said cheerfully.

"Good morning" I replied quietly trying to get a feel of what he heard.

"That must have been one hell of a dream, I've been trying to wake you up since forever, was it good?" he said trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably, shit! This wasn't good, I need an escape route. Just then I remembered Doggy missing from the living room, I could work with that.

"Oh my god, Doggy! I forgot to feed him last night, he must be starving" I said jumping up and going to look for him, it was a total lie and I didn't miss the sound of Edwards laughter that rang behind me, fuck! I have to get out of here, but its my apartment, why didn't I just dream of nothing? Or puppies, puppies would have been much better, shit! I need a distraction for now.

"I'm just going to take a quick shower, I'll be right out" I yelled and I heard him say what might have been "I'd need one too after a dream like that", and queue blush. I just really really hope i didn't say his name, That asshole won't let me off the hook if I did, I just need to act like nothing happened, and that's the only solution.

Fifteen minutes later I was showered, dressed and ready to face my destiny, fortunately for me he was on the phone when I came in, so I busied myself with preparing the table until he got off the phone looking frustrated, but when he saw me sitting at the table the look vanished and a smirk was in its place.

"You know you didn't have to make breakfast, you're still sick, how are you feeling anyway?" I said trying to distract him.

"This is just to say thank you, I'm really good, my nose is just a little stuffed up but other than that I'm fine, I guess last night's sleep cured me, you should sleep on top of me  
>More often" he teased just at the moment that I put a bite of eggs in my mouth, I chocked and spattered it everywhere, and he just chuckled and patted my back gently.<p>

"Don't forget to take your medicine you ass, I'm going down to work" I grumbled after calming down, but he jumped up and caught me before I was able to slip away.

"Bella, you haven't eaten anything, please just sit down and finish your breakfast, I'll stop being an ass I swear" he said giving me that puppy eye look , but I could see how hard he was trying not to laugh, I agreed after a couple of seconds because I was really hungry, and he smiled triumphantly and sat back down.

"I've wanted to ask you this question for a long time now, why do you like reading so much?" Edward asked earnestly after a while.

"a lot of reasons really, but mostly because I enjoy losing myself in the world of the story I'm reading, imagining the setting, the characters, the reactions, the love, the hate, the angst, the happiness, and the little details. In the novels everything is easy , everything has a solution, and in the end everyone gets what they deserve, but you also see through people, you can tell how bad someone feels about something he did just by reading how the writer describes them, a good writer can make you feel sympathy for the devil himself, and yet you can justify it because you know how he felt, you lived it in every aspect, and just something as simple as a children's story could hold more meaning than the news itself, but in the end you know that even if it's not true, even if it never really happened, you learned something new from it no matter how small or inconsequential it is, on the long run it made you who you are today." I said lost in thought, when I looked back at Edward he looked awe struck.

"well, that's one hell of a reason, you feel really passionately about it that you made me want to go read, that was fucking amazing" he said after a couple of seconds looking at me  
>With admiration, I have no idea why but I felt really proud of myself at that moment and I smiled mirroring that feeling.<p>

" fuck I have to go to work in a while, I really don't want to leave, but I have to" he said getting up and going to put the dishes in the sink after finishing the rest of breakfast with small talk, I was disappointed that he was leaving but I tried to hide it.

"Oh, well I'm glad you're feeling better, Take it easy for a while" I said as cheerfully as I could muster.

He got his wallet and phone and walked to the door with me a couple of steps behind him, when we reached it he opened the door then hesitated, turned around, looked deep into my eyes, leaned in and brushed his lips gently across my cheeks, the whispered a soft " thank you " and left me standing there yearning for more.

A couple of hours later I was sitting behind the cash counter day dreaming about Edward when I got a text from him.

**- So what was that dream about? - EC**

Shit he went right in, I can still play dumb.

**- What dream? How are you feeling? - BS  
><strong>  
>-<strong>I'm fine, and you know what dream I'm talking about.- EC<strong>

**- I'm really busy right now. I'll text you later-BS**

I was wishing he would let it go, but I wasn't that lucky,

**- The noises that you made were pretty fucking HOT. -EC**

Then a few minutes later  
><strong><br>- I must have been good. - EC**

**-I'm so fucking better in reality. - EC**

**- I keep playing those voices over and over again, I'm dreaming about getting these voices out of you in my head, fuck you're so fucking sexy. - EC**

**- Okay I **_**can**_** take a hint..After a while, I have a something for you, for later though, I have surgery now, but I'll talk to you soon. - EC**

How the hell did he know I was dreaming about him? This is so fucked up! How the hell am I going to face him again after that, I could pretend I didn't know what he was talking about, or I could pretend I was dreaming about someone else, who can I use to make him believe me? Or I'll pretend he was hallucinating, that I didn't say his name, is if I actually did, I need to make up a story and that was my best option to save face for now.

At nine I was reading a book while listening to some classical music in the back ground, Doggy had his head in my lap while I played with his fur, then suddenly my phone started ringing making both me and Doggy jump from our spots, when I looked at the caller ID it was Edward.

"Hey gorgeous." He said sounding excited.

"Hey Edward" I replied cautiously.

"I wanted to ask you a question, remember when I called you a couple of days ago?"

"Hmm, not really why?" I said confused.

"Really? You don't even remember me calling you do you?" he said with laughter in his voice.

"Edward what's wrong? Just say whatever you wanted to say" I said getting a little annoyed.

"Ok how about when I called you mistress? Remember that?" he said trying to contain his laughter.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, either you explain or I'm going to hang up" I replied reaching the end of my limit.

"No on wait, how about when I was biting you?" he said laughing like he just told the funniest joke ever.

"Fuck you Edward, goodbye" I said getting pissed and hanging up on his boisterous laugh.

After that I couldn't read or do anything for that matter, I was so sound up that I started talking to myself while Doggy looked at me like I'm crazy and walked away to the bedroom, so I decided to take a long soothing bath to relax and forget about everything. An hour later I got out of the tub feeling nothing but the weight of my body, I was so relaxed that I might have fallen asleep right on the bathroom floor , but I still had to feed Doggy.

After doing my nightly routine I turned off the lights everywhere and went to bed, a couple of seconds later my phone beeped alerting me that I received a text, which was an audio note, and it was from Edward, to my utter embarrassment and shock I actually opened it, it was after all my voice.

" oh oh ungh,,fuck yes ,,hmm ,, mistress loves to ride you, yes yes baby , suck me harder," moan" fuck ya, that's right, bite me harder" groan" just like that ,you like it baby ,,hmm unghh yes oh fuck Edward, tell me baby, tell me how much you like it. "apparently I was pretty vocal.

At first I was so shocked I couldn't move, my mouth was hanging open and I was looking at my phone with horror, this is what Edward was talking about all day? That fucking asshole! When did he record it? This is my worst nightmare come to life, and he thought he was funny making fun of me? What the hell is wrong with him, now I'm going to have to move or kill myself or..Move! For now I can pretend to be sleeping, I can't deal with him now; I'll leave him for tomorrow o next year hopefully.

After tossing and turning most of the night I finally fell asleep at five in the morning, my alarm sounded at seven thirty alerting me that I have to wake up and face that ass, I guess I will be playing another game of hide and seek today, but this is one game I can't lose, being found is not an option, and from the looks of it Edward's hunt started early, I had six missed calls already, what the hell did he want! Wasn't that recording embarrassment enough, why did I have to go and say his name in the end, as if him listening to me have a sex dream wasn't enough!

I didn't see Edward till late in the afternoon, thank God he had all these people needing surgeries and keeping him occupied, not that I'm happy he had a lot of sick people, I'm just thankful he didn't have time to bother me, not that I prefer people being sick than him confronting me with that video, oh you know what I mean! Don't judge me!

At four I was Blindsided by Edward walking inside the library, but luckily I was busy with a customer's I didn't even acknowledge him, I pretended I didn't see him come in, but who was I kidding I could sense his presence a mile away, every fiber of my being was on alert, but I tried to act normal, thank god that customer was really interested in talking about how much he loved the book he chose and how much depth the characters had, and so on, by the time the customer was done Edward was sitting behind the counter reading the book I had left there, I tried to sneak by him and go up to my apartment from the adjoining door but I had no such luck because just when I reached the door my phone rang and I had to turn around and look at an amused Edward holding my phone in his hand, I walked towards him slowly and snatched my phone away, it was Alice.

"Hey Alice" I replied then turned away from him.

" hey bellaaaaaaa, I'm on my way over, with roooseeee, I wannaa get druunkkkkk" she screamed into the phone while music was blasting in the background and I could hear rose singing, then there was only the dial tone but I thought I'd cease this opportunity to get rid of Edward so I continued.

"What's wrong honey? Are you okay?" I said trying to sound as worried as I could be then paused.

" okay okay, calm down , no I'm alone, yes I'll be waiting for you come right up ,bye" I said and turned around and back to a concerned looking Edward, I was going to hell but I can delay the inevitable using Alice , I think I'll be forgiven for it , and I didn't say anything that bad!

"I'm sorry Edward I have to go, Alice is coming over, I have to close up and get upstairs, I don't know what's wrong" I said already pushing him out the door.

" ya ya I understand but can you text me later and tell me if she's okay" he said just as Alice pulled up with Rosalie, they parked and ran towards us laughing and cheering, and Edward just stood there staring at them till they reached us.

" Eddie are you here to have fun with us?" Alice asked giving him a kiss and a hug.

" aha yes I am, Bella was nice enough to invite me " he said giving me the stink eye and daring me to say anything, and I couldn't , I just keep on digging myself deeper into the whole every time with this guy.

" y-es I did, I was just about to call jasper and Emmet to tell them to come too, come on lets go upstairs" I said averting my eyes from Edward's, Rosalie said she'll do it while I locked up, and she went upstairs with Alice while Edward volunteered unfortunately to help me even thought I kept telling him not to bother and to go upstairs with them but he wasn't having any of that, when I locked up and turned the lights out and was just about to go upstairs to join them Edward grabbed my hand to stop me and pushed me against the wall near the stairs .

"Hmm, finally I have you alone and you have nowhere to go" he said gently nuzzling my neck, my breathing started to get labored.

"What do you want?" I replied and tried to push him away.

"No you don't, we are going to talk about this, and maybe relive it, but with both of us awake " he murmured placing kisses along my jaw and neck, shit this wasn't good, I wasn't strong enough.

"There is nothing to talk about, please just let's forget about it, it's embarrassing enough that you were there, stop being an ass" I whispered still trying to move from under him.

"I don't know why you might be embarrassed, that was fucking hot, and it was about me, you moaned my fucking name." suck" You know how fucking ecstatic that makes me feel?." Lick "I wanted to fuck you right there with you sleeping, but I thought it might be better if you where awake, and I could look into your beautiful eyes and do everything that I dreamed of to your beautiful body." Kiss "To hear you moan my name again while all your inhibitions are down." kiss, suck, and lick "to feel you come undone around me" he groaned.

I couldn't stop myself right then, I reached my hand forward and brought him flush against me, my other hand was deep in his hair and finally my lips where joined with his dancing hungrily on the tunes of our labored breaths, after a couple of minutes I hitched my leg around his waist and he took that opportunity to lift me up and put both my legs around his waist, then he started moving his hips and grinding against me over and over again, while our groans were so loud that I was surprised why no one came to check what was going on, just when I thought I couldn't take anymore one of his hands squeezed my ass which gave us both more friction and made us groan simultaneously while our free hands roamed each other's bodies trying to familiarize ourselves with the others body, I was moaning "more" , "more", and Edward started grinding harder and harder we were both so close, and suddenly the door at the top of the stairs burst open and Emmet came in with jasper in toe, which destroyed our little paradise and left us breathing heavily and standing a few feet away from Each other, what a way to begin a long night.

After I excused myself to my room to freshen up and regroup I joined them In the kitchen , when I looked at Edward I caught him looking at me with a predatory hungry look that might get both of us in trouble if he kept it up, so I just smiled knowingly at him and turned my head away from his heated stare, and that was the case for the rest of the night, me trying not to look at Edward, and him trying not to jump me in front of everyone here.

Just when I thought I might die of sexual tension everyone decided to leave, not to say I wasn't having fun with them here, I was, but let's just say I needed some alone time after that steamy make out session from earlier, jasper and Emmet left first with Edward, then Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the door with rose following.

"What the hell was that? Did you think we actually didn't hear you? It seemed pretty fucking hot" Alice whisper yelled.

"fuck ya, you're telling us all about it tomorrow, but don't think you're getting away with this, we want to hear every tiny detail" Rose continued, and all I could do was blush beet red and nod, then they left and I was alone, but not for long because a couple of minutes later I heard a knock on my door, I went to check who it was and a very sexy frustrated Edward looked back at me.

"I didn't get a chance to say goodnight" his smooth velvety voice said gently while that heated look was back, and then I was pushed against the door and he was kissing me passionately, a couple Of minutes later he ended the kiss by pecking my Lips a couple of times then pressing our foreheads together.

"Fuck you make me feel things that I never knew possible" he whispered, and I hummed in response as I was euphoric.

"Will you go out with me tomorrow?" he asked gently after our breathing had settled down I didn't need to think, my answer was ready a long time ago.

"yes " I said breathily.

" fuck even your voice makes me Hard, I need to leave before I fuck you against this door, I'll pick You up at seven, good night beautiful" he groaned and kissed my forehead one last time before I replied a soft " _goodnight_" and he left for the night, but not from my very sweaty, very fulfilling dreams.

**A/N:**

**Soooo what did you think? Tell me everything )**

**Thank you all for reading,**

**Thank you to all who made this story a favorite,,**

**REVIEW reviewwwwwww ;))**

**Thank you to all of you who made time to review ) I'm loving your thoughts..*hugs***

**Till next time,, **

**FFN **

**XX**


	20. Another Author's Note

**Author's Note **

**Hello readers,,**

**Due to the sudden reviews that came in after posting the last author's note and since you showed me that you still want me to write i've decided not to stop writing , i will continue my story even if im the only one reading it =)) , but i know there are alot of you who are interested in it so i know im not alone , but dont hold back with reviews , they help me write better and have a little insight into your minds,,**

**The next update will take a while , bare with me please :D **

**Thank to all who reviewd to show me their support ,, i truely appreciate it **

**I will delete this author's note when i post the next chapter, **

**Till next time , **

**FFN **

**XX**


	21. Chapter 20

**Dear lovely readers,, **

**I'm sorry I have been away for so long but real life kept me away, I hope you're still with me and theses lovely tortured souls still trying to find love :)..**

**Without further ado..**

**Ch20**

So lets just say the world wasn't ready for me and Edward to be together, I woke up in the middle of the night because of my shrieking phone telling me my dad has had a heart attack and was in the hospital, I wasn't very lucid at first, but when I registered what was being said I started shaking so much that the phone dropped from my hands, my breathing was heavy , I was hyperventilating, my daddy was hurt and I just went into shock , after a couple of minutes I took a few calming breaths and picked up the phone again and asked how he was doing, he was okay but he needed lots of rest and care for the next couple of weeks.

I packed like a maniac took Doggy and was just about to lock up and leave when I heard someone approaching from behind me, I locked the door and turned around to find a confused Edward eying my luggage.

" hey Edward I have to cancel our date, I'm going to my dad's for a while , he just had a heart attack , I swear I'm not blowing you off, but I really need to leave, I'm sorry" I said hurriedly and went on my way to my car, when everything was settled and I was just going to get into the driver seat someone grabbed my hand and pulled me out, and I was suddenly pressed up against the car and enveloped in Edward's scent, He was kissing me with all his might, like he was saying goodbye, our lips were passionately locked an neither one of us was letting go, I welcomed his kiss savoring the taste I will be missing for a while, after a couple of minutes the kiss had stopped and we were just breathing each other in.

" don't take too long sweetheart, I can't handle you being away from me for long, I hope your dad is okay, and if you need anything call me please, fuck I'm going to miss your beautiful face, your mouthwatering scent, just go before I won't let you, keep your phone on all the time okay ?" he whispered gently while all I could do was enjoy his nearness and lose myself in his embrace, I nodded and untangled myself from him with effort because he wasn't letting go, then I pecked his pouty lips once, twice and a third time till I felt him smile, I smiled fondly at him trying to convey all my emotions at that moment , I stroked his cheek gently then turned around and got into the car and just before the door closed I could have sworn I heard him murmur " fuck , I love you", but I wasn't ready to hear it or question him about it so I turned on the ignition and drove away with my heart feeling heavier with every small distance I took away from Edward, who has become my ... My ... I don't know what exactly yet , but my something.

On my way to my dad's all I could think about was destiny, or more specifically " meant to be " how can you know if someone is your meant to be if you don't know the future, if it's meant to be then why was it so heart breaking for all this time, but then maybe its not meant to be and that's why it was that way, maybe it was the future's way of telling us that we shouldn't go through with it , that we should stay away, maybe all this hurt and heart break is just a glimpse of what's to come. But what if you want it be the exact opposite so bad that you start giving excuses to everything just so you won't feel any guilt or uncertainty when you defy the odds and swim against the stream, and maybe , just maybe in the future you will know that you made the right decision, that you proved the odds wrong, and you chose who you where meant to be with , because if we leave it all for luck or chance or destiny well we might be waiting for too long, and sometimes we might never know if we missed that chance or not, but the doubt never leaves our minds. The majority of the ride was spent with me asking the only question that could make or break it , what if…?

When I was only half an hour away from the hospital and dad, I started hyperventilating again, the shock of my dad's heart attack was just getting to me, if something happened to my daddy I would probably not live It thorough intact, I started thinking of all these scenarios of what might happen and so on and suddenly I was going to pass out just when my phone started ringing, it was Edward, I just slowed down and stopped at the side of the road and pressed the green button to answer the phone.

"H e ll o " I answered it while trying to take a breath and failing.

"Baby, are you okay " Edward said concerned.

"I can..t b..rea..th " I replied struggling.

" sweetheart calm down, I just called the hospital and your dad is doing fine, he's really well, take a breath for me , yes just like that , listen to my voice, nothing is wrong with Charlie I swear he's fine, just calm down yes see, nothing is going to happen, you have to be strong for Charlie, Picture him healthy and kicking my ass for forgetting our first year anniversary , picture me trying to act like I didn't actually forget so I'll get away with it and pleading with you using my hypnotic eyes to make you forget what was the problem in the first place, picture me with hunger in my eyes because of how much I fucking need you, picture me kissing every inch of your body and worshipping you, picture me holding you in my arms and you sleeping to the tunes of my voice telling you how beautiful you look after being thoroughly fucked, can you picture that baby?"

By the end of that speech I was breathing normally with an amused smile on my face. I wanted so much to be able to tell him to come here and be with me, I needed him to be strong for me, but I just couldn't make myself utter the words, I couldn't ask him, he wasn't mine to ask, and at that thought I felt sadness wash over me, but now wasn't the time to linger on, I had other urgent matters to take care of.

"Thank you" I said softly.

"I love you "he said gently after a while, and the gasp that came out of my traitorous lips was my only response, I was speechless, and after a couple of seconds of total silence save for our breathing, I took the easy way out.

"I ... I have to go, I'll talk to you later " I said suddenly and hung up, this was too much , it was huge, and as overwhelmed as I was , I had to leave it for later.

After reaching the hospital, and making sure daddy was okay , I went to his apartment and dropped my bags and Doggy there , took a shower and got back to the hospital, finally dad was awake, as fragile as he looked , the tired smile he gave me shattered my heart to a million pieces, what would I have done if anything had happened to him, when he tried to whisper " hey baby girl " I lost it and through myself in his arms while sobs raked my body and daddy tried to calm me down , after about fifteen minutes I was calm enough, I got off daddy and sat by his legs , the doctor came a while later and made sure that daddy was aware of how dangerous this heart attack was, and how crucial it was for him to rest well and avoid exertion, next time won't be this easy , and if I had any say in it , there won't be a next time.

After sue came I left the room to give her and daddy some privacy, she looked so shaken up that I was worried something might happen to her, but seeing dad alive and smiling might have just what she needed, they way they looked at each other made me feel like an outsider , and the sadness returned after leaving the room, I walked slowly out of the hospital so I can have a moment of peace alone, and then Edward's words kept ringing in my ears " I love you ", I know for sure he didn't mean it , but why would he say that , or why would it affect me this way , my heart beats were going a mile a minute , he just didn't mean it , it's the best solution for now.

It has been a couple of days since daddy's heart attack , he was coming home today, with me and Sue constantly on his back about the rest he needed and the amount of guilt we made him feel about how worried he had us and how we didn't want to lose him , he agreed to cut back on his work load and to take lots of rest for the following two weeks. My phone was my enemy, I couldn't look at it, I couldn't touch it, I couldn't come near it, I was avoiding all contact with people, or I was avoiding all contact with Edward to be more specific, I couldn't face him, I was too weak to read his texts, to answer his phone calls, I was plain and simple,a coward.

The next couple of days where the same , dad was giving us hell for trying to take care of him , Sue was being an angel and treating him like a small child having temper tantrums , and I was lost in their world, the world of love and care, sometimes they made me feel so suffocated that I had to leave for fresh air , and right now was one of these times , I couldn't take that much of love around me anymore, feeling like an intruder on their intimate moments was hard, so I said I need to call Alice and I went outside for a walk. I did call Alice to let her know how things were but that call only lasted a couple of minutes, I needed to be alone , I needed solitude, I needed peace , and my heavy suffocated heart needed...Edward.

An hour later I was nowhere near feeling better, as the time passed I was feeling more and more Out of place, the ache in my heart was so intense, I tried to breath normally, but even breathing was difficult, finally when my vision was blurred and I couldn't taker anymore breaths , I passed out on the grass in the woods near the house, my body felt free, light , and that was when I finally found peace , in unconsciousness.

I woke up slowly to catch the end of the sunset, I was too comfortable to move , and the warmth underneath me wasn't helping me wake up any faster, so I just enjoyed the peace ad quiet and watched the sun say goodbye to the mountains and disappear for the day, after a couple of minutes I felt something underneath me shift , that was when I registered the I wasn't lying on the grass but I was lying on top of someone, at that instant I raised my head carefully and sprung up on my feet, and to my utter surprise it was Edward, what the hell was he doing here, when did he get here, how did he find me, all these questions where running through my mind, but the most nagging thought was " Edward's here"!

Assuming he was asleep, i just stared at his beauty, his perfect imperfections, at one moment I wished he was mine, every fiber of my being yearned for the right to that possessiveness, I knew deep down that that could never happen, but I still dreamed of a life when everything was simple, when Edward was a normal guy who falls for a normal girl like me, where there are no problems, there is no heartbreak and he's totally and unconditionally mine, but I wasn't so naive as to believe that, then the thought of how it all would have been easier if I didn't actually know Edward, if I hadn't fallen head over heels in love with him, how much easier it was when he wasn't actually in my life, and at that thought I felt both relief and sadness, I don't think he could ever love me as I do him, I'm not strong enough to know the answer to that thought, and so the only solution is staying away, and in time I'm sure the extreme heart ache that I am feeling will lessen, and if not... It just has to.

"Nothing good comes of that face, what's wrong sweetheart?" Edward's soft voice said ending my reverie, the look on his face was one of adoration and love ,My answer was turning my face away, I had to pull myself together, I had to take myself out of the game, I couldn't let myself get emotional, closing myself up was the only solution.

"Nothing I was just thinking about my dad, when did you get here, and why?" I said in a shaky voice, which I wished he couldn't hear but I knew he did, because his features hardened and his poker face was on, this wasn't going to be pleasant, he stood up suddenly and started pacing in front of me, and I just waited with a dying heart for the storm that was coming.

"I —I don't know what to do anymore, I can't handle this, what the hell is wrong with you, I told you I fucking love you! And I meant it! Do you really despise me that much? You fucking ignore me for a week! A goddamned week! It was a week from hell! I had to come fucking see you! What the fuck do you want me to do Bella! What the fuck do you _want_" his voice thought angry and screaming, held a sadness that broke my heart all over again, this was all because of me, and I had to fix it, I had to end his suffering even if it costs me my sanity.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just got caught up with daddy, and I —" I started weakly but he cut me off.

"Cut the fucking bullshit Bella, for once just tell me the truth, you owe me this much, I can't take your indecisions anymore, just fucking tell me the truth, either you want to fucking be with me or not, just fucking say it! " he said heatedly.

And that was the moment I was petrified of, do I hurt him so he can more easily hate me and move on, or do I tell him the truth, will I be able to handle his reaction? His loathing, his torture...and in the end my misery. I can't handle that, of that I was more than certain, I feel so confused right now, I have all these thoughts and indecisions, one minute I want to try, the next I want to stay away, when the hell can I finally decide and have peace of mind? I need to rest mentally, why is this so hard! I needed ….. Closure.

"Edward, I can do this, I think it's best if we stay away from each other, I...I am so confused right now, but I know for sure that I need to be alone, I need to stay away from you, I don't think we are meant to be together, I think we need to go back to the way we were, it's the best solution, and right now I need to go back and check on Charlie, thank you for coming if it was to see me.. I'm sorry" I said trying to be strong while staring at the tree behind his head and trying to avoid looking directly into his eyes.

Before I could move more than a couple of steps away from him his hand reached out and he pulled me to him and pushed me up against the tree knocking the breath out me, the look in his eyes made my insides turn to fire, like he was looking into my soul, his breathing was just as labored as mine.

" do you really think that after all this time I will fucking let you go with that bullshit you just said, did you not hear me when I said I love you, fine I'll say it again so you can be sure I wasn't joking, Bella, I love you , I love you so fucking much that my heart aches whenever I take a few steps away from you , let alone a week, I love you , I will keep on saying it till you're convinced, I will never fucking stop, you are mine just as much as I am yours, weather you want to or not, I will never fucking let you go, and I know you're just scared but don't ever fucking say you want us to stay away from each other, I fucking gave you time, why are you doing this now, I can't let you go, I fucking need you, I dream of calling you mine, I dream of waking up next to you in the morning, I dream of carrying you to bed late at night after you fell asleep during watching an action movie I really wanted to watch, I dream of you whispering my name in your sleep and making my heart burst out if my chest because of how happy I am to hear it, I dream of loosing myself in our body for days, and knowing that its mine, that you're mine, I dream of the sounds you will make, the moans the groans and the sighs, I don't fucking care what you convince yourself, you will fucking be mine, I see the fear of what might happen in your eyes, but if you don't fucking take a chance you will never know, I'm tired of playing this hot and cold game with you, wake up sweetheart, you're already mine, your heart knows it, every fiber in your body knows it, but your mind is still trying to take you away from me, don't do this, don't let it kidnap our happiness, please be stronger for me, I can't keep doing this with you, you're draining me to my very soul, I'm leaving you because you want me to, but till the day you tell me you're ready to be mine , I will be waiting, I won't ask again, I won't talk to you again, I'll try to stay out of your way as much as possible, but I will be waiting with bated breaths for that day, the day when my life begins, the day you will finally be mine." What started heatedly and ended with so much melancholy were Edward's last words before kissing me tenderly on my forehead and walking away leaving me standing against the tree tears streaming down my face and lost in a whirlwind of thoughts, have I been playing with his feelings this much, had I been so indecisive, had I made him this tortured, If something good came out of this it is that maybe just maybe , Edward loves me just as much as I do him, and I owe him as much as he asked me , I owe him a final decision, I owe him an answer, and after the heart wrenching confession he made I don't know why I didn't just jump in his arms and ordered him to take me home so we can forget the world and lose ourselves in the land of us, and for that exact reason I had to look.

A/N:

**Okaaay I hope this long chapter made up for me being away for that long..**

**Tell me your thoughts guys, what do you think Bella should do? Do you think Edward did the right thing? Tell me your every thought; I'll be waiting to hear them all… :)**

**Hopefully the next chapter won't take long, maybe next week..**

**Thank you all for reading **

**Thank you to all who followed this story..**

**Keep on sharing your thoughts cz help me continue writing, if you want me to stop also tell me,, **

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**Thank you all ;))) !**

**FFN! **


	22. Chapter 21

**Hello lovely readers,**

**No beta for now , so excuse my mistakes :))**

**Read on …**

**Chapter 21**

I've been home for two weeks, and today I've reached the end of my limit, the war that has been brewing inside me has paralyzed my senses, save for my dying heart, the amount of conflict I've been having was slowly and painfully pushing me off the edge, every day I would wakeup sweaty and gasping for air , after spending most of the night thinking about what happened and what should be my final decision , enough is enough , and finally after all this time , the tug of war between my heart and my stupid brain ended in me deciding to tell my brain to fucking shut up and follow my heart , today I came up with the perfect plan to unite with the man of my dreams , and let go of the past, today is the day I take a step forward towards my future.

I spent most of the day just smiling and staring across the street to see when Edward gets home, he has been avoiding me pretty much since that day and I wasn't having that anymore, so when I saw his car approaching I hurriedly ran outside as if I was on my way to go out back and suddenly I twisted my leg and fell with a loud scream , I took a couple of breaths and when I heard footsteps approaching in a hurry the tears came freely, I clutched my left ankle in my hands and started inspecting it while groaning from the pain.

"Bella, are you okay? " came Edwards frantic voice while he crouched down in front of me , I couldn't look up at him so I just shook m head no and groaned again.

"It's okay , just let me see you ankle I won't hurt you, I'm just going to check if its broken, can you let go for me ?" he said in a soothing voice that I almost swooned , but thank god I didn't , I just let go of my ankle, he took it in his gentle hands and starting inspecting it, his touch was so feather like that if I wasn't watching I might have thought my leg was being held by angels, but this was much better.

"well nothing is wrong with your ankle, I'm just going to massage it so the pain will go away , you must have twisted it in your fall, so it might take a day or so to get better but if it hurts too much I can give you something to help , ok sweetheart?" he said after a while and started massaging my leg and ankle, I looked up at him and so the most tender look in his eyes while he took care of me, like I was the most precious thing on earth, how did I get so lucky I had no idea, after about ten minutes of total concentration; his on massaging and me on staring at his beautiful face I had to make him stop.

"ok, I feel better now thank you" I said softly, he stood up suddenly and I felt a tug in my heart when I know my time with him was at its end, he stretched his hand out to me waiting to help me up, I gave him my hand and when I was almost up on my too feet I groaned in pain, he looked concerned, then a look of determination crossed his face and he leaned in and swooped me up in his arms, while I squeaked from the sudden movement, his scent wafted over me and I just inhaled it like oxygen to my soul. He got me inside the library and went up the stairs to my apartment and sat me on the coach slowly, gave me a kiss on the forehead and stood up.

"I'm going to lock up for you, is there anything that you need from down stairs?" he said while looking intently into my eyes.

"No thank you Edward" I replied and saw something flash in his eyes when I said his name , but he turned around abruptly and left to lock up before I had time to register what It was.

Not five minutes later he was back through my apartment door, he wiggled the keys to show me he had them and pit them on the table next to the door, then he took a long breath and looked uncomfortable, and yet all I could do was stare at his beauty.

"Will you stay with me for a while?, just let me make us something to eat as a thank you, you must be starving", he looked up at me and after seeing the need for him to not leave me he nodded and came to sit next to me, I hesitantly reached over and squeezed his had as a thank you and got up carefully, I saw him about to protest but I smiled at him showing him I was fine and wobbled into the kitchen, when I got inside I started looking frantically for something good to make, and I came up with the perfect meal, Mac and Cheese, one of is favorite if I heard Alice correctly one of the times she was rambling.  
>And so I want on my way on preparing the meal and humming to myself while doing so, finally after two weeks of avoidance on both our parts he was here, in my apartment, sitting on my coach, I just couldn't believe it , and I hope I don't screw this up, because its time I took what has always been mine, I was so Immersed in my thoughts and in making the meal that I didn't hear Edward approach, until I heard a chuckle and turned around to find an amused Edward looking at me with eyes filled with mischief.<p>

"Come on woman I might eat you if this takes any longer "he said teasingly but with a hint of seriousness.

"well I'm at your service master eat away " I said looking at him innocently, his rye turned black and he looked at me heatedly, every nerve ending in my body was on alert, he took a step closer and was just about to take me up on my offer when his stupid damn phone started ringing, he paused while we stared at each other for a couple of seconds then he closed his eyes, took a couple of deep breaths and when he opened them they lost the heated look, he looked agitatedly at his phone and went to answer it in the living room.

By the time he was off the phone dinner was ready, we ate in silence while watching TV in the living room, though Edward's groans of appreciation weren't silent at all, it's like he was purposefully torturing me. After dinner I fixed two balls of ice-cream and got back to the living room while wobbling a little, Edward was smirking like he knew a secret but I let it go, I gave him his bowl and thought this might be the best time to get back at him, ice cream was the best weapon for that, I dipped the spoon in the cup and slowly it went inside my waiting mouth, I made sure to act like I was distracted by the TV and in my periphery I could see Edward with his head turned And Watching my every move, I tasted the strawberry ice-cream , swirled my tongue around trying to catch a drop and moaned just for extra torture, I kept doing the same for a couple of minutes and then a drop spilled from the spoon on the side of my mouth and was dripping along my neck I was just about to reach and wipe it when I felt Edward's hand around my arm stopping me, I looked up and there he was, with coal black eyes and hunger blazing out, he kneeled in front of me while keeping eye contact and turning my insides into mush , my breathing was labored just like his, slowly he leaned in and his mouthwatering scent enveloped me, And then to add fuel to the raging fire inside me his torturous tongue licked me once from the side of my neck to the corner of my mouth and a shudder ripped through my body, he growled and started kissing along the same path , and when he started sucking I was done for, I started moaning, dropped the ice-cream cup and didn't even register the sound of it hitting the floor and slid my hands through his magnificent soft hair and pulled his head up, I looked into his eyes trying to show my need and suddenly I was on by back with a wild Edward lying on top of me kissing me like there was no tomorrow, and I was giving as good as I got, we were making out like horny teenagers and whenever we came out for air He would start kissing me all over my face, my cheeks my eyelids my nose under my ears along my neck and then come back up to my mouth, while muttering how fucking delicious I tasted an how fucking good I felt under him, and how he can't fucking Stop, and we stayed like that for god know how long then our misses started to slow down till our lips where just moving along each other as if whispering secrets that the world shouldn't hear, and finally we were just breathing each other in and enjoying being in each other's arms.

This was time to talk so with a sigh I tried to move from under Edward, and he gently untangled himself from around me and sat up on the coach and waited patiently for me to talk, I couldn't look at him yet because I was feeling too much guilt and I wanted to get what I had to say off my chest without anything stopping me.

"I'm sorry Edward, for everything" I said shakily and raised my eyes up to meet his trying to show how truthful I was, but he looked wounded so I amended.

"no wait, I'm not sorry about what we did just now, I meant I am sorry about hurting you, i-I didn't mean to , I'm just so scared that I keep questioning myself and doubting you and us all the time, I know that you hurt me in the past but I also know that you have changed, these past few weeks have been hell, one minute I ached for you to hold me, to kiss me, to love me, but the next I would be so scared that the hurt and doubt that I felt before would start eating me alive, but I can't take it anymore, I can't fucking take it ! I need you Edward, I need you so much, but I need you to understand that it won't be easy, I can't just let go of the past, I need you to help me move on, I need you to be patient with me, I understand if you don't want to, or if it's too late, but I have to tell you Edward that I just..I need you" I whispered brokenly while a single tear ran down my cheek, and before I could reach out and wipe it Edward's gentle fingers beat me to it.

"Don't cry sweetheart, we can do this together, you just can't shut me out, we need o communicate for this to work, just give it time and trust me, I will do all I can to ease your fears, I need you more than you can imagine, thank god you finally decided to give in, I was starting to think of evil plans to make you see the light." He said gently while placing a soft kiss on my nose and smiling gently down at me.

"Hmmm, like what?" I said without thinking.

"Well I might have kidnapped you next, and taken you to a place where there is only you and me. Where I can have you all to myself without distractions, and then I would convince you with my special ways to give in, I might have had spanking and ropes in mind, be careful I might use them again if you give me a hard time ". He said smirking at me.

I leaned in till my lips where right next to his ears and whispered seductively "that wouldn't have been so bad, don't tempt me". His growl vibrated my whole body with a distinct 'fuck' and his hold on my body tightened while he buried his head in my neck and inhaled.

I felt serenity at the exact moment he held me in his embrace, calmness washed over me and i lost myself in the world of Edward, neither of us said a word, he just gave me what I needed, to be held by him, showing me that he hasn't given up on me, that even though I keep blocking his advances, he hasn't lost hope yet, and as if like magic, all the worry , all the anxiety, all the heartache disappeared from inside of me, and where replaced with hope.

"We needed this, if you hadn't reached this place on your own we would have been doomed from the start, are you ready to give me a chance darling?" he said gently while running his fingers across my cheek.

"I am, but can I ask you for two things?" I answered immediately, and he lifted my chin so he can look into my eyes.  
>"You can ask me for anything" he said with a small smile.<p>

"Don't lose patience with me, and let's keep it to ourselves for now?" I said hesitantly but didn't shy away from his beautiful worried eyes.

"I can do that, but don't let me keep it a secret for too long, I want to show the world that you are mine and mine alone" he growled the last bit while spreading kisses all over my face and tickling my sides making me squeal for him to stop and after a while he did, he sat on the coach with me on his lap and we just enjoyed the rest of the evening with easy banter and funny jokes till we called it a night, i walked Edward to the door and hugged him goodnight, he took a couple of steps forward then turned around and looked back at me with eyes full of mischief .

"I almost forgot, How's your ankle Bella?" he asked and started flexing my right foot to show him that it was fine, the he smiled triumphantly nodded and just when he reached the outside door he turned around and Said " good thing it was your left ankle then " and left laughing his ass off at my shameful crimson busted face, though I couldn't help But laugh, it was a good means to an end in my defense.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face I did my usual routine and opened the library to start my day, half an hour later I was greeted with a smiling Edward holding two cups of coffee and looking fresh out of the shower, and lickable if I might add, just his beautiful face made my insides jump up and down with joy.

"Good morning sweetheart" he said in a smooth voice.

"Good morning" I replied cheekily.

"I couldn't start my day without seeing your beautiful face , but I'm pretty late so I have to run" Edward replied smirking at my blush.

"The day looking good so far, oh and I might have had a steamy dream of you doing strange things to my innocent body so that might have helped a little" I said in a sexy voice while running my finger down the opening of his shirt.

"Fuck, stop you evil woman I can't fucking go to work with a hard on, but this isn't over" he groaned and turned to leave in a hurry. I followed him outside and just when he reached his car I called his name.

"Eddie, can you come here for a second?" I said innocently and he looked dubious but came back anyway, when he reached me I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him with all my might, then I pushed him away.

"I couldn't help myself , have a nice day honey" I said and turned around to go inside , laughing all the way inside after hearing his grumbling about being _so hard_ and _so fucking horny_ and _evil sexy women_ and that is how I started my day.

A couple of hours later I was just hanging around the library with Alice when my phone beeped alerting me that I have just received a text.

-** I wish I could see you right now ****EC**

How the hell does he do that I couldn't know , just in simple words.

- **What's wrong baby ? **** B**

- **Those fucking nurses cant do anything right , im so pissed of right now I could kill them!****EC**

Then not two seconds later.

- **say that again ****EC **

- **say what again?**** B**

- **call me baby again..****EC**

- **I miss you baby **** B**

- **Fuck! Have mercy on me woman **** EC**

- **I might do just that **** B**

- **What do you have in mind sweetheart? ****EC**

And that was when I decided to let his mind wonder on its own, I looked up and found a smirking Alice staring at me.

"You know you're pretty happy today, it suits you" she said gently and I blushed.

"Yeah I slept well, oh and I have to go I forgot I need to do something" I said trying to distract her and got up.

"Yes a good night's sleep can do wonders" she said knowingly but didn't push me any further; she knew I would talk about it when I was ready.

I locked up after Alice left and drove to the hospital, when I Arrived I wanted to surprise Edward so I didn't ask the nurse to page him, I wanted to know where he was.

-** Sorry had a customer, so what are you doing? ****B**

-** I'm taking a break in the on-call room so I won't murder anyone today, u didn't answer my question, what did you have in mind?**** EC**.

He replied instantly, now I just needed to find the on-call room, which wasn't hard since I practically live in the hospital with all the injuries I get, I walked around for a couple of minutes then I hit jackpot, I opened the door slowly and switched on the light so he won't see me at first and then I closed the door.

"What the fuck" he yelled, but before he could utter another word I shushed him.

"Bella? Is it really you, fuck come here, I missed you so fucking much" he replied softly and pulled me on top of him , then flipped us over and buried his face in my neck and I had to admit it did wonders to my fluttering heart to see him so happy to see me.

"Hmmm, it's okay baby, I'm right here" I said softly and he groaned

" Fuck it sounds even better when you say it out loud, I think you might me the sexiest woman on earth, and you're all mine" he growled and started sucking on my neck, I brought my hands up t his face and pulled it up so he can look into my eyes when I spoke.

"I am, and will always be, only yours" I whispered gently and the fired that shot out of his eyes was only a small indicator of how much he loved hearing me say those words, let's just say he didn't get back to work when he should have and I enjoyed every minute of it.

**A/N:**

**Thank you for the REVIEW :D because it was only one haha**

**So I have decided to finish my story weather I receive reviews or not .. this is how hopeless became in the review area :D**

**Anyway, thank you for reading **

**Reviews might make me write faster … just saying **

**Thank you to all of you who made this story a favorite.**

**Love you all..**

**A shout out to my lovely busy beta MASTERSGURU :)**

**Till next time.. **

**FFN **


	23. Chapter 22

**Dear lovely readers, **

**This is the end of our journey**

**Read on, and I'll meet you at the end …**

**Chapter 22**

Its been a week since I last saw Edward, his work schedule was hectic, we spoke on the phone a lot, just getting to know each other more, we talked about nothing and everything, today was the day I get to see him again, but sadly it's because Alice is throwing a small welcome home party for Charlie and sue since they're officially living together now in an apartment near the bakery, but since Charlie is still a little sick she volunteered to host the party, and everyone was invited, today Edward would finish early and get home to sleep and take a bath and follow us there, and to say I was excited to see him is an understatement.

At nine I was so nervous that I had to excuse myself and go outside the balcony for some fresh air, the sky looked beautiful; filled with sparkling stars each glowing differently than the other, so I just sat laid on the lounge and just enjoyed the view for a couple of minutes, and when I heard a commotion inside I knew Edward was here, but I couldn't move I didn't know how was I supposed to react, how was our meeting supposed to be, I was just too nervous to do anything, so I just thought I'd sit here for a couple of more minutes just until I got the nerve to go inside.

About three minutes later I heard the door behind me open and the sounds of the party inside drifted through, but just as quickly it died down when the door was closed, so I thought someone was just checking to see who was outside, and I was finally going to get up and go inside when I felt the spark, I looked to my left and there he was in all his glory, the man of my dreams looking like sex on legs wearing blue faded jeans with a dark green T-shirt and his signature smirk, but his eye held longing that made my heart flutter, before either of us could talk I was out of my seat and jumping in his arms, he caught me and held me in a tight grip like he was afraid I was going to vanish any second, and I couldn't it help it after that I started kissing him everywhere, his neck, his jaw, his cheeks, his nose his eyes, his forehead, I just couldn't help myself, while he made the sexiest sounds, moaning and groaning about how good that felt, and after a while I calmed down enough to notice that he had walked the small distance to the lounge chair and we were sitting down with me in his lap and my legs encircling him.

"Fuck! I've missed you so much" he said mumbled with our lips almost touching.

"hmmm, don't stay away for that long again, I don't think I can handle it" I whispered softly with my lips moving along his but not yet kissing, and that was all he needed before he captured my lips with an agonized groan in a searing kiss, where we tried to show each other how much we missed one another, he took my upper lip between his teeth nibbling on it then whispered the words_ 'open up baby, let me in'_ and that was the moment I lost my connection to the real world and fell into the world of lust, passion, raw need, and the world where only the two of us existed. I granted him entrance and he drove right in, sucking my tongue into his awaiting lips, tasting me, savoring me, and marking me as his, the moaning and groaning from both of us would have been embarrassing if the party hadn't been going on full blast inside, but at that moment I think neither of us cared. I guess it's like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

After about twenty minutes of making out like horny teenagers my phone beeped in my pocket startling me and breaking up our embrace, I took a couple of breaths to try and calm down when I looked up at Edward he looked like he has just been fucked, with his eyes half lidded and his lips swollen and in a pout, his breathing labored and his hair disheveled, I'm sure I looked the same and at that moment I could have given anything to be able to fuck his brains out, but when I looked at my phone and saw I had a text from Alice , all hope went out the window.

**- Charlie is getting worried, you've been outside for thirty minutes, get off my brother and come inside, I'm out of excuses. ~AC**

'fuck ' I whispered after reading the text and showed it to Edward, he cursed under his breath and I pulled myself from around him and stood up but I was pulled back down by him he kissed my gently then pecked my lips once, twice, thrice and a fourth time making me giggle, we just couldn't let go and it made me more confident to know that it was mutual.

"Hi" he said in a smooth voice after we were both calm.

"Welcome home?" I said gently while blushing.

"That was the best fucking welcome home anyone has ever gotten, I think I should stay away more often" he teased but his eyes looked black with need.

"NO" I replied forcefully."I can't fucking take it again" I said trying to amend.

"fuck you're sexy when you're needy, I wish we didn't have to go inside, come on sweetheart, lest get this over with so I can have you all to myself when we're done" he said gently and we both stood up to go inside after fixing our clothes and our hair, when I opened the balcony door and was just about step inside I was pulled back to Edward's front and ever so gently he whispered "I fucking love you Bella" and then left me standing there with my mouth agape , my heart fighting to blow out of my chest, my face flaming red, and my lips forming the words but nothing was coming out, I just needed more time.

Tonight was karaoke night as well, everyone had to sing, and shockingly Charlie was the one who started, and to my utter elation he sang to me " my little girl", Charlie had a beautiful voice and that he sang me that song on his own without me begging him for weeks was what made it so special, by the end of the song I was crying freely and so was every woman in the room, Charlie blushed after all the cheers and hugs and kisses he got for that song and after giving me a tight hug telling me all that he couldn't in words he went back to sit in his place next to sue, I looked up searching for the face I wanted the most and found him staring tenderly at me, I pressed my fingers to my lips and sent him a small kiss before anyone could notice, and his signature smirk was back.

Luckily Emmet went next after Charlie and lighten the mood he did, by the end of his performance of " im sexy and I know it" we were all laughing so hard that our jaws hurt so bad that we had to hold them. After Emmet everyone took their turn singing silly songs ,then it was time for duets, and of course the evil pixie set me up to sing " party for two " with Edward, but to be honest it was really fun and we both enjoyed every second of it, it was the only part of the night when I was able to show my emotions freely and dance and have fun with Edward without questions being asked.

A couple of hours later I was just too tired to stay awake, I guess all that worry and nervousness throughout the day has drained me, I said my goodnights to everyone and went on my way, but not before sending Edward a quick text that I knew he couldn't say no to.

**- You want real needy? how about me lying in bed , naked and dripping for YOU, how long will you let me wait…~ B**

With a sexy smile I winked at him and then I saw him reading my text, his eyes turned black, he looked up at me like he was about to pounce, but he knew he couldn't right then so he just stared at me till my knees grew week and then held up his hand showing me that he will follow five minutes after I left, but just at that moment Esme called his name and told him that she needed to talk to I'm about something, he looked back at me disappointment coloring his features and I couldn't help but laugh loudly at him, he didn't like that very much but he couldn't help but smile , then he raised both hands showing me that he needs ten minutes not five, and I just shrugged bit down on the corner of my lower lip, and turned around and left.

When I got home I fed Doggy, took a quick shower and when I was just about to get out of the shower I heard a knock on the door, I didn't bother with a towel, I walked slowly to the door, asked who it was in a sultry voice, got my answer in a grunt _" open the fucking door Bella " _ and being the good girl that I was , I complied, opening the door slightly and walking back to my room, but not before I heard a loud ' fuck ' and was suddenly airborne over Edward's shoulders and at the next instant thrown on the bed with a squeal, suddenly I wasn't tired anymore, and the rest of the night till dawn was me proving how not tired I was, when I closed my eyes to sleep I was lying on a very satiated and delirious Edward, and I couldn't ask for a more perfect way to end a long week of missing.

We spent the weekend together, whether it was going on dates or just anging around in mine or his apartment or going out to walk Doggy, not one moment was spent apart, and I was dreading the days to come when I didn't have Edward all to myself all the time, I know it sounds clingy and selfish but I don't care I want to spend every moment with him, and then on Sunday afternoon I got mad.

" i don't want you to go and that's final, why did you do this to me, I was a normal girl just living my life, you had to swoop in and ruin everything, this Is all your fault, now I can't spend a minute without thinking about you, I can't sleep without you I can't eat without you I can't work without you, are you happy, I hate you for this, yet I want to spend every fucking moment with you, you messed up my mind, and I can't love you , yet I do , I fucking love you so much it hurts and I don't like it , I want to feel that way, see now you're leaving me and I knew this would happen, I could fucking kill you right now , and why the fuck are you smiling, you think my misery is funny well fuck you, go I don't need you, I don't need anyone" I shouted and by the end I was red in the face from how mad I was and I was breathing heavily so I just left that ass smiling like an idiot and went to my _fucking_ room and slapped the door in his _fucking_ face.

I couldn't calm down as hard as I tried to, so I decided to take a long bath, I didn't hear from Edward for about ten minutes so I assumed he left, I filled the tub with hot water and slipped inside after taking my clothes of and putting enough bath salts to make me lose myself in its scent, and I just closed my eyes and let my mind wander on its own, not five minutes later I heard the bedroom door open and Edward's footsteps as he walked in then I heard him come inside the bathroom but I didn't want to open my eyes this was my relaxing time, so I just ignored his presence and pretended he wasn't here, which wasn't easy.

A couple of seconds later I was gently pushed forward, I scooted over and Edward slipped behind me bringing me back flush against his body, but kept his silence while his hands encircled my waist and his head rested on my shoulder, I still didn't want to open my eyes, and just sat there and the fit I through earlier started running through my mind, damn I was crazy, how the hell did he put up with me. Not two seconds after that thought all that I had said came crashing through and I stiffened in his embrace, oh my fucking god! I said I love him , I fucking said I love him and I didn't while I was mad? Oh my god, who does that! When I was starting to hyperventilate Edward started kissing along my neck.

"hmm, I guess you remember now, it's okay if you didn't mean it sweetheart I understand just calm down, its okay" he said gently with his lips never leaving my body and at his words I loosened his hands from around me and turned around in his embrace, looked into his vulnerable raw eyes, and said the words with all the pent up emotions of the years before.

"I love you" I said softly while running my hands through his disheveled hair, he must have been going crazy to make it like this, my silly tortured Edward. "I love you so fucking much, and I meant every word I said" I kissed his right cheek " I love you Edward" I kissed his left cheek " I love you darling with every fiber of my being" I said then nibbled on his upper lip " I love you more than I love candy" I said laughing through my tears when he chuckled, and then my lips were enveloped with the sweetest most intimate kiss of my existence, then I was hoisted from the tub by a very demanding Edward and for the rest of the night we were basking in the joy of our finally uttered love, and each time just before I reached the promise land I would moan _I love you_ and drive him off the edge as well.

Two days later I was still smiling non-stop because of our late night confessions, its like suddenly I had no care in the world, like everything was solved and I was living a happy life with the man of my dreams, and to say Edward was happy would be an understatement, he was overjoyed , the first night every time I would fall asleep i would wake up to him worshiping my body and it only leaded to me screaming his name in the throes of passion while he did the same, and I loved him more for it. Today as I sat at the cash register just daydreaming of what Edward did to my body, the sounds he made, the touches he would burn me with, and the euphoria he made me live in when my phone rang, and guess who?

"hello sweetheart" Edward said in his smooth enchanting voice.

" hey, how's your day" I said with a smile in my voice, he tends to have that effect on me.

"It's better now, fuck I miss you" he said groaning and my smile only grew bigger.

"Well I am hard to let go of" I said teasing him

"Yes you fucking are, that's why I'm never letting you go, you're fucking mine baby, tell me you're min" he said and I could hear his labored breaths as they matched my own.

"hmmm, how about you come here and I'll show you how fucking yours I am" I moaned, adding the fucking since he had told me he loved it when I cussed, that it was such a turn on, who am I to deny him that, and to be truthful I knew the feeling, just one fuck out of him and I'm drenched.

"Baby, you can't fucking say things like that when I have to work, no I'm going to have a hard on for the rest of the day, you evil _evil_ woman" he groaned in agony and I just laughed.

"Well I have a solution for that, I've been thinking how about I invite everyone to my place tomorrow so we can share the good news" I said hesitantly.

" yup that did it, and that is a fucking great idea, I'll take you right there on the living room table and they'll know for sure what we have to say, easier that way and all that" he replied with a smile in his voice.

"ya that _is_ a good way to tell them but my dad might like it, and I want to have kids with your hair and eyes before anything happens to you" I said teasingly.

He paused for a couple of seconds then he breathed out like he was holding his breath all this time and said " fuck I love you, you truly magnificent woman" gently, making me blush then he got a page and had to go.

When I hung up I remembered that I didn't say I love you back so I called him again and when he picked up I told him I couldn't let him go before telling him something important, and when he was listening to me without distractions I said softly ' I love you baby' and I ended the phone while hearing his beautiful amused content and joyful laugh. I guess life isn't life without the angst and drama, but in the end that is what makes it so worth living, without the heartache there won't be much meaning to the happiness, and ours has just begun...

** THE END **

**A/N:**

**Hello again, i hope you enjoyed reading the last chapter, i enjoyed writing it.**

**If i have enough reviews i might write an epilogue.. So review if want one :d**

**Thank you to all who stuck by me throughout this journey..**

**Thank you to all who made time to read and review, love you guys.**

**Tell me your thoughts about the ending…**

**I might write a one shot next but it won't be related to this story.**

**May your days be filled with endless happiness.**

**So long for now..:)))**

**Till next time **

**With all my love )**

**FFN **

**Xx**


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